Just recently Neeraj and I were discussing our future and where we should settle. 
So the plan right now is that he will come to the US after we get married next year, then we will do our MBA together, work and get experience, make money, enjoy with my family, and then after about 5-6 years we will go back to India. Ultimately, he would like to go back to India because his family resides there, and I have agreed to that (why I have agreed is a WHOLE other post and stay tuned for that 
) .
Kal raat ko Ridhish se baat hui on Yahoo. I read his post about the controversy he created about today’s youth in India. He made some good points that I agreed with, but I also want to discuss what Neeraj and I have thought.
We hae agreed to not start a family until we are settled in one place. So then logically we would have our children in India. Ab samasyaa yeh hai ke India badal gaya hai. India main log bahut “modern” ho gaye hain. Too many things are taken for granted which was not earlier such as smoking/drinking by both guys/girls has become the norm; as well as attitudes towards parents and school life have changed. Teenagers ke kapde, bolne ki tameez, aur knowledge dekho (in means of drugs, sex, and fashion) kitna badal gaya hai.
Did you know that I had no clue what “non-veg” meant until my trip to India in 2002?? I had NEVER heard that term in US and ek baar meri cousin ne mere ko kaha ke main yeh book pad rahi hoon par us main bahut “non-veg” jokes hain. I didn’t say anything and just thought that when she said “non-veg” she meant non-vegetarian food. 
Phir jab usko toka maine toh tab usne bataya ke nahi yaar…I meant like censored jokes. 
Arre baap re. What is this yaar?? 
:no:
Even though I was born and brought up in USA, I am still 100% Hindustani. Hum ghar main hindi bolte hain, mere ko India ka culture/history ki full knowledge hai, main ek strong Hindu hoon, aur main samajti hoon ke kya sahi hai aur kya nahi. I have been asked to smoke, drink, and even been approached by guys, but that doesn’t mean that I did it. In fact when I was growing up, all of this was much more easier to do than it was in India, but I never gave into the peer pressure. The credit goes to my parents who always stayed aware & active of where I was and with whom, taught me everything about my heritage/culture as well as told me what are the right & wrong things to do in life. But today’s parents don’t take that time and are too busy making $$ than being active in their children’s lives.
Neeraj was telling me that he was listening to the radio one night and they were taking callers to find out who will make the best proposal. Ladke phone kare toh ladki VJ ko propose karenge and ladkiyan phone kare toh unko ladka VJ ko propose karna tha. So do you know who won for the guys? A six year old boy!! 
He knew what proposal was and he told the lady VJ that he loved her, read her a poem, and said many other things! This is NOT what a six year old boy should be concentrating on!! 
Neeraj batata hai Mumbai main rah ke, ke wahan ke ladke/ladkiyan ki soch kitni badal gayi hai. Ladkiyan raat ko call center main kaam kar rahe hain, office ke bahar smoke kar rahe hain, raat ko late bahar rehte hain, aur apne maa-baap ko izzat nahi dehte hain. What is this and when has this become part of our culture:?: It is one thing for sure: IF YOU ARE INDIAN, YOU WILL ALWAYS REMAIN INDIAN. Don’t try to change yourself because you can’t run away from the Indian culture and heritage. If yeh sab nahi hota hai apne culture main, toh phir ab kyon badalne ki koshish kar rahe ho? This is not modernism, this is being a follower down the wrong path.
Western countries such as the US have made major mistakes when it comes to high divorce rates, abortion, sex before marriage, and utilizing all different drugs. Instead of following this, India ke naujawaano ko yeh sab dekh ke seekhna chaiye ke yeh hamara culture nahi hai aur yeh sab nahi karna hai. Then why is divorce becoming so much more common in India?
India’s future is going to start with our generation and later be passed on to our children’s generation. After seeing what life is like in Mumbai, even Neeraj is thinking twice of where to settle. I told him that I do not want my children going through the ragging in college that even he went through in IIT Kanpur. I do not want them to learn about sex/love at the age of 6 like he had heard of the little boy on the radio. Yes, a lot of the blame goes to the parents of these children (who spend more time watching TV serials and making $$ than watching their kids) but it also goes to the media (just look at all of the bakwaas movies that are coming out) and to society (for not discouraging these actions). Bahut kuch change ho gaya hai apne Bharat main.
I am not saying that US is better or the “ideal” place to get settled, because it still has those flaws that I mentioned before, but India’s people should have been more smarter and not have repeated the mistakes made by the US.
India has such a rich and strong culture & heritage, I don’t want to see it to lose that and become “westernized” like many other countries.
Chalo Alvida. Back to work. 
Jai Mata Di.
Hmmm!! Impressive. Lagta hain tumhare aandhar bhi Ridhish ki aathma aa gayi.
Okay Poonam, so do you think by smoking/drinking/having sex b4 marriage and all other things you mentioned, one tends to loose up on the Indian culture?
If women are working late nights in call centres, i dont see anything wrong in that.
I personally think if anything is done in limits, should be okay and shouldnt be a problem at all.
And talking about 6 year olds, yaar, if parents teach them the right things too, they pick stuff like this from the media and their peers, and at this stage, there’s not much parents can do about it. Theek hai values de sakte hain, but a lot depends on the friend circle too.
And you should be aware that this scene is not only in bombay, its everywhere in India, including small cities. Recently i went to punjab, and you should see the women dressing up. Its just everywhere, kya kya control karenge. Rest later, when we have some people to argue with :-)
Wow Monty. Thanks for the thoughts. Mere ko maloom tha ke tumhare paas koi substance wali argument hogi
Apun ki kismat aaisi hai ke apun ki soch Ridhish jee se milti hai.
I was telling him that I was going to make this post yesterday but then posted something else.
Starting with your first point abt. the loosening of the culture. Haan toh Monty do you agree ke yeh sab hamare culture ka part nahi tha before this change into modernism? It is definitely was condoned to not do these things. Even today when you hear about an Indian women having a child out of wedlock (like shown in “Kya Kehna” movie) why do you (in general sense) react like this ::shock: ? Because its just not expected from Indians as its not part of our culture.
Apne parents ke time par kya ladkiyan kaam karti thi? Aur phir woh bhi raat bhar? Nahi naa? So it was not part of our culture. I am all for women liberation in India but for only the good reasons. Paise kamaana hai toh kamaao par yeh raat dher call center main kaam karna is not the way to do it.
You make the correct point about the six year old and THAT is the problem. Parents ab nahi dhyaan deh rahe hain jitna unko dena chaiye aur phir jo parents dhyaan rakhna chahte hain unke bacche unse rebel kar rahe hain. Ultimate blame does go on the parents. Toh kya ek 6 year old ko MTV dekhna chaiye? Nahi re, usko khelna khoodhnaa aur cartoons dekhna chaiye. If his parents are letting him watch that (same goes for the baccha’s friends, etc..) — then they are to blame.
Mumbai ka toh tum bilkul bodyguard ho
Hehe. Chill. Yep you are EXACTLY right, its not just in Mumbai but that was just the example kyon ke Neeraj wahan par abhi hai. Jis cousin ki main baat kar rahi thi about the “non-veg” woh Bhavnagar main rehti hai (ek gaon in Gujrat). So it does happen everywhere and it would have been expected for it to be just in the big cities, par gaon main bhi yeh haal hai toh iska matlab samasya toh haath se nikalti jaa rahi hai.
[ Ridhish ] Aacha laga ke tum khush hue.
Aur waise meri soch pehle se aaisi thi par tumhare good points ne mere ko aur strength diya! Thanks 
Koshish karo Devesh aur Monty par…shayad samaj jaayenge. 
:wink:
Poonam, as far as i can understand from Ridhish’s comment “He is saying, that his aathma has got into you, and now mine & devesh’s yet has to take over you” If you read it slowly, thats what he means.
Maybe he means what you are saying that his aathma should take over me & devesh, and he has framed it thoda wrong, or maybe i’m just too excited about it being a friday.
Coming back to being bombay’s bg, hehe!! Abhi kya bolu tumko? Lol, all i said was the fact, bhavnagar ho ya Loooodhiana, the scene is the same eevrywhere.
& i really feel we cant do much about this, yeah not allowling baccha party to watch Mtv is a diff thing, lekin these days, Mtv has gone all indian in bombay. All they show is Music videos of bollywood movies, latest releases, and pop songs, but they also show stuff like Mtv Love line, and how to propose chicks ;)
All said & done, i personally feel raising kids in a big city is much better than raising them in a small gaon. I highly recommend staying in Delhi/Bombay and no where else. :D But then again, these are my opinions
Most of what I wanted to say about this post, has already been said by Monty.
Over the last one year, I have seen Bangalore, Pune, Calcutta, Amritsar, & Mumbai. Believe me, its the same everywhere. Smoking, drinking, flirting is common every where.
And, Living in Delhi/Mum is certainly better than living in any other Indian city. You have so many facilities, so many places to hang out, etc etc.
BTW, rehne ki jagah se koi farak nahin padta. Kids are mirror images of their parents. Jo ma baap sikhayenge, wohi to woh seekhenge. Just see your example, even after staying in America, you value Indian culture so much. It’s just ‘coz your parents have shown you the right direction.
Chalo, bahut type kar liya. Back to work.
Thanks for your thoughts Manpreet, I appreciate it!
Manpreet my argument is not on the commonality. I know that it is a GENERAL problem in India. But why is it a problem? Do you think that its a problem or its just a part of life?
Mera argument yeh hai ke yeh desi culture main nahi seekhaya gaya hai (smoking/drinking, sex b4 marriage, divorce, blah blah..). Yeh problem parents ki wajah se, media, and society ki wajah se hua hai. Kyon yeh problem apne parents ke time exist nahi kiya tha?
Tum bilkul sahi ho – rehne main koi faraq nahi padta…kyon ke yeh common problem hai shaher main aur gaon main. Par is samasya ka hull kya hai?
I just think that if this problem wasn’t as severe as it is then thinking about settlement in India would be very easy for us. India main sab kuch hai if tumhare paas paisa hai.
But when I think about my children’s future, I do not want them to be in the same situation that Indian kids are currently facing living in India.
hello every body
i just found this web while searching for a guy named shakti in google search engine and finally came accross your discussion on ‘Indias youth tomorrows furure .so before posting anything ‘Namste and hi to all lof you ‘
I’m a web developer runs my own webdesignand development firm
to see my profile visit http://www.orisonweb.com/vin.htm
‘to ijajat hain ki main kuch post karoon?
vinod bisen