Another Reason to End Dowry

Posted on September 20th, 2004 by Poonam

See what dowry does to you? Poor people who face tragedies such as this because of dowry. Like they don’t have enough problem already, then you face a family loss. What am I talking about?

Read this article:
sisters who drink poison to save their father from insults.

Source: Times of India.

This saddens me at the same time angers me. Get rid of dowry and maybe we won’t have this problem! Easy said than done, I know. We are losing young people because of money and wealth, doesn’t anybody else out there think that’s wrong:?::!:

To read more about my views on dowry, read the post:
Dehej - Will We Ever Get Rid Of It?

If I could do something for this family, I really would; but would my $100 or even $500 bucks be worthwhile for them? Helping those in need as always been there in my heart, I wish there was some fund or something that could help them. Aargh. This just leaves me frustrated.

Please don’t tell me that this happens all the time in India; because its sad enough that it does. I wish there were more people out there that would help in doing something about this after reading the newspaper, then just letting it go.

| UPDATE: 11.39 PM |
Maybe I was a bit vague and if I was, I’m sorry. When I said I wish there was a fund or something, I really meant to help families like the one that I read today. Sponsoring a child is great and even something I am considering doing but really I was wanting something for families who are suffering in the same matter as this Panditji with dehej/dowry in Kolkata.

Alvida. Jai Mata Di.

7 Responses to “Another Reason to End Dowry”

priya Says:
September 20th, 2004 at 12:19 pm
the situation is so sad…even with so many educated ppl arnd..this issue sticks forever…why..and then thr r those who want 2 give dehej calling it ‘apnee khushi se’ and the daughters take it happily too…is the one they are marrying deprived or incapable of something!!!sucha pity…
nice post Poonam…
Abhishek Says:
September 20th, 2004 at 1:13 pm
dunno whether u’ve read tis or not but some time back a lady refused to marry ‘coz the groom tortured her family for dowry… she informed the police n the groom was eventually arrested…
the main problem lies in the mentality of these guys… most of the arranged marraige guys look for monetary gains through this process (even some of my relatives do it)… its like hey i m gonna pay for ur daughter’s expenses all ur life, so why not gimme sometin now… darn sickening, isn’t it…
Poonam Says:
September 20th, 2004 at 1:25 pm
You bet Priya, it will take more than just one voice to end this. I made the exact point that you just said in my last post about Dehej that in fact the grooms should be odd receiving it as if they are uncapable themselves to provide their new bride with all that she needs.

Indeed a good point it is…I wish we could spread it.

[Abhi] - Dost, it is darn sickening and with hopes that this next generation will do something about it. Those who are greedy will always remain greedy, but we can try to outnumber them, right?

I didn’t hear about that lady but you know what, my cousin went thru the same problem with her mother-in-law (the story is outlined in the previous Dehej post).

You are getting married — not winning the lottery. Geez louise, when will people understand this bit?

Even my own family, we are punjabi, are known to give these huge dehej (its just accustomed to do that now) which is really sad. Not everyone is able to afford it.

I just don’t know what it would have been like if I would have married within the Bhatia behraadari (community). They would have emptied my dad’s pockets for sure!

Thanks for the insight Abhi; and I really pray that we can do something about this for the future!
gremlin Says:
September 20th, 2004 at 5:52 pm
If you really feel you wanna do something… check out my post on CRY. Let me know if you need any help.

Also I am working as a volunteer for Fountainhead schools (The project proposed by 24 year old MBA student Vardan Kabra)
Poonam Says:
September 20th, 2004 at 6:13 pm
I looked through both of the links Gremlin, thanks for that. How do you know that your money is being put to good use? Maybe I will talk to you offline about this, but I want to make a difference by seeing the difference.

Donating money and actually see it in action is two different things. I have heard of CRY before and even Fountainhead, but just giving them part of my salary won’t give me that satisfaction. Soch soch ki baat hai.

I am really not sure what I want to do at this point in my life but surely one day Neeraj and I will open our own foundation of some sort to help poor families in India to get off the streets. Guaranteed:!:

Thanks for the information Gremlin — more research is needed on my part before I make a decision on how I am going to contribute and in which way.
Monty Says:
September 20th, 2004 at 10:07 pm
I cant remember if it was CRY or some other organisation. Vinod was thinking of sponsoring a child in India, and that organisation would send him quarterly progress reports of the child, and Vinod can even stay in touch with the kid, so you know that your money is really of use. I can find out more in case you are interested in sponsoring someone. I think when Vinod found out, it was around $30AUD /month
Poonam Says:
September 20th, 2004 at 11:28 pm
Good to know Monty, if you can find some information I would greatly appreciate it.

Thanks!