Current Tune: Le Jaayenge Le Jaayenge Dilwale Dulhania Le Jaayenge
Background Information: Read this article found in the Times of India.
Back in the day, live-in relationships were a new thing in the USA. Note: back in the day. These days, every John and Jane are living together as an alternative to marriage. How is your every day living different when you are living in together comparatively to marriage?
Reading this article, it seems that Indians also want to try this funda. Par kyon? Why not just get married? Because you are afraid of responsibilities? Because you don’t want to be tied down? Or is it because you still are getting to know your partner, and this is an easy way to find that out plus more? This maybe a bit superficial, but sometimes I think that guys who opt for live-in relationships do it just for the sex. 
In my opinion, those who run away from marriage and committment do live-in relationships. Take it with a grain of salt but I really don’t understand the point of just staying together in the same house, doing anything and everything that married couples do, but NOT BE MARRIED! 
So its a foolproof plan for many that after let’s say six months of living together, if they do not like their partner, all they have to do is tell that person to leave (or leave themselves). No jhanjat of divorce filing, alimony, etc. Here is a hint for you: if you don’t know if your partner is the one for you, then don’t be in a hurry to take a step. Just get to know them. By the way, getting to know them is not by sleeping with them. 
I say that if you are ready to live in, you are ready to marry. After that, if you don’t feel the same, then wait and get married when you feel right. Tradition and history shows that its been the dating stage, the going-steady or serious stage, the marriage stage, the having-children stage, and then growing-old-together stage. Where is the live-in stage?? 
People have done without it prior to our generation, we could do it as well. :???:
If you really love each other then you don’t need to live-in, you will instead take the committment and marry forever. That’s what being in love is all about.
Don’t think that it hasn’t crossed our minds as well because if we live-in together atleast Neeraj and I will be close. But the point is just not to be close but it is also of settling down. We don’t need to test the waters because we already know we are made for each other.
Alvida. Jai Mata Di.
Really well written post this poonam.
I agree with you, i think that no 2 ppl are totally compatible, and there is no single marriage that has both the guy and the girl 100% satisfied.
But it is all about deciding on the right person and then adjusting with him/her.
Adjusting as opposed to compromise, mind u
The way the human mind is, it always wants more, wants change. I personally do not know of any live in that has materialised into marriage, cause live in is a matter of convinience.
Thanks Jai.
You have made some good points. You have to learn to adjust and that is the key to a successful marriage.
I think it is possible though to be satisfied in marriage if both people work on helping each other, listening, etc..
Live in is convenience, so what is marriage? A hassle? :???: Isn’t that sad if that’s the truth?
I think I ever discussed this matter with my friends, we were discussing why people are living together before they get married. They thought that if you are just living together, if you feel you are not ok with your partner, you can leave her or him, move on and find somebody else. Some people are just afraid to get married because they are scared to make a wrong decision. By living together, they thought that you may know their partner better.
I totally agree with Poonam, if you are not sure that person is not for you, don’t ask to live together. When you broke up, it’s really hurt. Even not living together, when you broke up, it’s really hurt ?
I don’t think it’s a good way to know your partner by living together. Of course you may know them better but it’s not the only way.
I think it’s better you don’t live together before you get married. You will not have special feeling anymore after you get married because you have been living together before. There are no more suprises. The best thing of marriage is you find a lot of new things about your partner which you don’t know before. Living together is like you reading the book and you know the ending. There is no more excitement.
I really couldn’t have said it better myself Mona. You said everything that I wanted to say but forgot to mention! I was so happy to read your comment as it was just on target to what I wanted to convey! **hugs**
Great points!
I think it hurts 10x more when you break up after living together because you feel like you have given everything to that other person, and now its all over. Excellent point that I forgot to mention!
Losing the excitement is such a true statement! Another good reason not to get into a live-in relationship.
yeahhh exactly Poonam
broke up after living together, can’t imagine how bad it will be … like you said you have given everything :???:
About losing excitement
I saw the real experience of my friend. They don’t feel excited at all when they get married, it’s like so usual ….
live in relationships r a worry now a days… there r some glowing examples in our neighbourhood only… but u just cannot blame just the guy for it… even the girl has got to be willing… gen y has tis wonderful ‘wat the heck’ attitude, u see… n some people just forget the limits to it…
more so if u have a live-in relationship you have it in ur head that u can give-up whenever u want and u wont give a try in working things out bet the 2 of u if such a situation comes…but if u are committed n married u will try ur best to make things better for urself and the other person…
nice post!
poonam, can i request u for sometin… wat plugin(s) r u using to name ur pic n shorties like btw to its fullform… like when i put my mouse on it, the full form pops up…
can u plz tell me???
Personally, i dont see anything wrong with Live-in relationships. Yes, the percantile of those relations materialising into marriages is less, but then its true that not everyone is ready to take the big step. There are cases in bombay itself where people at the age of 20 – 22 are leaving their parents houses and prefer live-in relations with her girlfriends, but then its not always for sex, could be that they want to stay away from their parents hosue(which i dont understand why) and they need a partner coz living alone could be difficult.
It’d be totally wrong that most live-in relations are for sex, or just for convenience. I’d say now-a-days trends have changed and most people dont prefer arranged marriages, and to get to know a person better, they prefer live-in relations, and thats their call.
Now contradicting myself, the reason why most live-in relations dont work is that both dont try to solve the issue but rather take an easy way out, i.e leaving the house and staying with someone else.
A classic example of this would be students living abroad with friends. When 2 friends living together have a massive fight over anything stupid, hardly would you see them solving the issue, the first thing that comes up is “Fine.. i’ll leave the house and you find yourself another housemate” I’m sure most would agree to this, as i’ve seen this happen very often.
Coming back to Live-in, i personally dont see it wrong. Its just a decision some people take as opposed to marriages, and there might be a time, where the percantile of these relations materialising into marriages might increase.
ABHI – if you are looking only at plugins for acronmys like BTW, then by default you would TEXTILE 2 installed in WordPress.
Login to your wordpress admin panel, and Click on Plugins, You need to activate textile 2 plugin. The way this plugin works is, when you want an acronym set, you type that in bold betters, followed by you’re pop up messages.
Example: ABCD(Australian born confused Desi), and this in turn would be likeABCD
Aha, poonam already has ABCD setup, but i hope that makes it clear. if you dont want to type the acronym full form again and again, you can use the ACRONYM plugin, which can be found here.
[Mona] – I totally agree. You have seen it first hand, which just proves our point even better.
[Abhi] – I don’t blame the guy but I blame both people. There is really no reason to get involved in a live-in relationship unless you just want to “have fun” or are just not mature enough to commit to a relationship.
[Priya] – Why would two people who take such a step as living together, want to have that security blanket with them? If you are mature enough to take that step that you shouldn’t need to have that option of “leaving your partner”. That’s my own thoughts on the matter.
[Monty] – You cannot compare a live-in relationship with two same-sex people living together. I just don’t think that’s right. Is it JUST coicidental that you pick your lover as your live-in partner? I don’t think so. I know for a fact that guys ask their girlfriends to live in together with him for whatever reason, but I think their main motive is sex. Its sad to say but that’s how the cookie crumbles. You are leaving the aaisho-aaram of your parents’ home to live with your lover, and not get married?? Hmm, sounds like an easy way to have fun to me.
If you really want to just be on your own and independent, then why not just ask a guy to room with, why ask your lover?
Thanks for the info Monty, I had sent a separate email to Abhi about the plugin.