Three Weddings and a Possible Engagement?
So as unbelievable as it sounds, my father’s side of the family is going through a major reorganization…bole toh ghar main bhabhiyan aa rahe lee hai. My excitement level? Not very high. 
:banghead: :censored:
You thought relations were complicated, you have heard nothing until you hear this. Before I start, those that know me understand very well that I am all for falling in love and being with the person you think will make you feel happy for the rest of your life. But with falling in love, you have to be practical in the sense that you must understand how it will affect others around you, especially your family.
Try not to get confused - let me tell you it will be hard. 
My cousin (bua ki ladki) had an arranged marriage with a fellow within our Bhatia community. That fellow’s bua is my cousin’s mami. They got married in 2002.
During their wedding, we had some other people that “happened” to fall in love. Here is where it gets complicated.
Recently announced another cousin (chacha ka ladka) is engaged to be married to that above fellow’s sister! 
:censored: So that bua of mine and this chacha of mine are real siblings but also now in-laws to the very same family. Basically they have the same samdhi (in-laws). They are getting married next week in Bhavnagar, India.
Earlier this year, another shocker was revealed to the family. That very same bua ki ladki has a brother who is in love with that same fellow’s cousin (mama ki ladki). What the :censored:????? They were only going to get engaged this November after the above wedding, but now they are also getting married (God knows why) on 3rd December in Amritsar, India.
So now all three of my cousins are related and also now in-laws. Do you know what that means? That by chance of any of these marriages fail, the whole family is going to have a nervous breakdown because they won’t know whose side to take.
Where did they go wrong? Where do you draw the line between love and well, relationships? Elders should have really thought about this and so should have all of the lovebirds involved. Really no one was thinking in this family and I really believe that.
For quite some time my parents have been very upset and unhappy with all that has happened and frankly my father’s side of the family has become the laughing stock of the Bhatia community due to this fiasco. But did anyone think about izzat? No. Maybe because they have become too Americanized and they just don’t care about anyone but themselves and their own happiness. Its like marrying your cousin! Geez louise! 
For all of these many reasons and more, I had decided from the day I heard about the weddings in November that I would not go. Not because I don’t love weddings because I do, but because of the fact that I don’t agree with all this crap that we used to call a “rishtaa”. If I can’t be happy for the couple, then I really see no point of going to a wedding.
Its a good thing that everyone lives in Chicago and we only see them twice a year because otherwise I would be living in Hell.
So that’s the two weddings, what’s the third? The third is my cousin Gaurav’s in Bhavnagar (his wife-to-be is thankfully not related to anyone above! :lol:).
So my parents have three weddings to attend right off the bat after they reach Mumbai. 26th Nov. in Bhavnagar, 3rd Dec. in Amritsar, and 8th Dec. back in Bhavnagar. So 95% of Papa’s family in Chicago are going to the marriages except about a handful.
Now what’s the possible engagement, you ask? Well that would be of mine and Neeraj’s you silly goose! 
My advocacy is before thinking about getting involved in a serious relationship, think about who this will be affecting and if it will harm anyone.
Learn from other people’s mistakes and try to avoid repeating them.
Its important to follow what you preach and to tell you our experience, Neeraj and I had a very long discussion about our relationship as well prior to getting involved seriously because the thoughts of our parents were just too important for us.
Alvida. Jai Mata Di.
November 17th, 2004 at 1:16 am
Kuch nahi samaj aaya. Maybe if you used names as examples, it would have made a little sense to me, lekin as of now, totally blank!!
I guess i’ve always been bad with understanding relations.
But that engagement thinggie made sense, and hope ki the words “possible engagement” change to “100% engagement”
November 17th, 2004 at 1:56 am
ya, izzat, wonderful tool for breaking hearts… its like i m a big bhakt ‘coz i pray before god everytime i m successful at robbing a bank… very meaningful, isn’t it?
November 17th, 2004 at 3:25 am
Lol. I think that i need to b a rocket scientist to understand all these relations :p But, anyway i hope ki instead of writing abt ur cousins marrg. dates, u will write abt ur and Neeraj’s marrg. date soon. :) wanted to write more.. but typing on mobile phone’s keypad is a pain..
November 17th, 2004 at 5:44 am
totally agree with the comments above… when i was a kid i had a hard time figuring out masi n mami :duck:! that way its cool abroad uncle n aunty finish ! so much easier to remember n understand…
neways… yeah waiting to know ur eng date Poonam…
hey does Neeraj pay a visit here ? never hear nething fr him…
November 17th, 2004 at 7:41 am
seriously cant make a head or tail out of it
Ill just pretend I didn?t read this post
And suggest for those who eager and wish to understand how about making a set and subset pie diagrams or a tree lol? you might come to some conclusion
November 17th, 2004 at 9:09 am
I thought about using names Monty but then didn’t…maybe I should have. Whoo..but oh well.
I hope so too yaar that the possible engagement turns into 100%. Will let you know soon enough. 
Aur kya aaj kal office main bahut kaam hai kyaa? No blogging?
Hmm Abhishek..so I am assuming you don’t agree with what I wrote about “izzat”?
Aaww Manpreete..sometimes you write the very sweetest things.
Sometimes. 
I don’t have a clue when our marriage date will be and I wish I could you tell you that its in November or December. 
I just know my cousins…:sad: Chalo aage dekhte hain kya hota hai. 
PC ghar par nahi hai kya? I would agree that it would be a pain to write on mobile keypad.
I think the one thing I really love about our culture Kunal is our differentiation between mama, chacha, bua, mami…etc. I think just saying uncle or aunty is not sufficient.
But soch soch ki baat hai. 
I am also waiting to hear our engagement date.
Will let you know once I know. 
Neeraj did pay a visit just yesterday on the Love Isn’t Easy and the Rail Gaddi posts. He has turned over a new leaf and hopefully will visit the site every day.
Oh Puneet! You know what, I was going to make a diagram and then put it in the post and as a puzzle, whoever figured it out would have won something!
Maybe that would have been more fun then reading the looong post. 
November 17th, 2004 at 11:03 am
Anyway Poonu I hope for the best for all your cousins who are going to marry this year certainly we are the next in queue
Kunal, I visit our site much more frequently than what you realize, once or twice a day I come to the site..and read all comments but just because of lack of time I dont write comments so often…and actually in day time I can’t open the site for long and spend too much time on that…and I always think ke ghar jaane se pahle karunga..and till 10:30 in the night I work and after then Poonam asks me to leave and I leave just that time only.
so kul milaa ke no input to the site.. 
but I wish to be more active from now on. 
November 17th, 2004 at 11:35 am
I have just started reading the above post… and I am already confused
Anyway I hope I will be able to complete reading it.. in the next 2-3 days and come back with more comments
November 17th, 2004 at 12:08 pm
Why not depict all the relations with the help of a diagram, so that we can understand it better
November 17th, 2004 at 1:41 pm
neeru..tum hi apna number aage laa sakte ho queue main..
Bahut smart banta hai kya Ankur?
The diagram might eventually come…stay tuned with the post. 
November 18th, 2004 at 1:58 am
lol, i read it abt. 1/2 way of those tangling relationships n then cudn’t take it anymore. I got the central idea frm the comments :P. Its kinda strange to marry ones cousin. I know a guy back in India married his cousin who was livin w/ them n she was his chacha’s doter {actually they had to marry - hope u got it}.
try being last to enter in the stack :>
November 18th, 2004 at 5:39 am
One thing is really great about these weddings… I will get three more treats
And surely one for engagement
November 18th, 2004 at 9:11 am
try being last to enter in the stack
We won’t be entering till next year.
Oye Mr. Treats, there is no treats for the three weddings.
Even I am not going so there is no way I am giving a treat. 
You can bindaas have a treat if the possible engagement becomes a true engagement. But that means….traveling to Mumbai. 
November 18th, 2004 at 10:05 am
phew thank god i am in bombay only means i get the treat is it :P
November 18th, 2004 at 12:09 pm
ohhh u mean a pair of brother and sister being married? its too confusing
November 18th, 2004 at 12:34 pm
Gaurav, its like a brother and sister married a sister and brother from another family. Kinda similar to Hum Aapke Hain Koun but in that case it was two brothers marrying two sisters. Here it gets complicated…way complicated.
November 18th, 2004 at 10:09 pm
Please send my tickets, I will come to Mumbai
October 15th, 2007 at 2:02 am
This post totally rocks. Tough to understand, but I share the confused feeling when people start marrying people they are related with. I’ve got a friend who is her own mother-in-law
To me it seems rather silly and pointless when there is such a tangle with people all related with each other in multiple ways. Perhaps because Indian society is also a bit anal about rishtedaari and seniority/respect of people depending on how they are connected. This really screws it up and is dayum funny.