Overburdening Frustration…
Disclaimer: This is not one of the most uplifting posts you might read today, so if you are in a good mood, you might want to come back tomorrow. 
When frustration kicks in, you feel hopeless. Life is frustrating right now for me, on both the professional and personal levels.
At times I wish to just go away from here to some remote area where no one is able to contact me. I want to be able to think about all that is going thru in life, without actually having to make a decision now. I need Neeraj to be with me to think through my thoughts and guide me with what needs to be done at what time.
Professionally, I found out a manager on my current project who I don’t work directly with, hates me. Literally hates me. Why does she hate me? No one knows. Frustrating? Yes. I have never been hated before, and it hurts to know that I haven’t done anything to cause hatred, that someone detests me so much to say stuff behind my back to others on the team; that too, a woman who is almost twice my age, who I think, should know better than to be so juvenile to do such acts. 
Personally, there is a lot that Neeraj and I have to do in the next few months, and I am worried as heck if it all will happen. It just needs to go well and things need to happen, for us to be together. Frustrating? Yes, because we don’t have control over anything. Its tough when you are dependent on others to make decisions that will change your life, and you can’t do anything about it.
A downer of a post, I know it, and I am usually not this negative. Things that happened in the last 24 hours have caused some high emotional stress. I wish there was a cure.
Alvida. Jai Mata Di.
…
December 7th, 2004 at 2:23 pm
you’ll be okay hun… don’t you worry :)
**hugs**
December 7th, 2004 at 10:30 pm
It a bit suprised me when I read this posting because I almost never see you down *hugsss*
But sometimes so many things happened at once, it makes us frustating because we just feel so overwhelmed and seems like everything is wrong.
About the manager who hates you … from whom that you know that she hates you ? Does that person know the reason ? Maybe you can ask that person … or just ignore it. It’s really childish to hate someone for no reason.
About you and Neeraj … I can understand your frustation. Sometimes I feel really frustated too … in our culture, we can’t make our own decision for our future because it’s involving the whole family. We need to consider all their thought. I hope it will go well between you and Neeraj, wish you the best *hugsss*
December 7th, 2004 at 10:47 pm
Mona, I heard this from a senior colleague of mine that this manager lady doesn’t like me. When I was in the office the past two weeks, I could feel the cold vibes from her and caught on that it wouldn’t be pleasant working with her. Found out later that this senior colleague of mine was trying to get me extended on this current project which she would be leading, and she flatly refused with no reasoning to why I shouldn’t be extended. That part didn’t bother me at all (the project isn’t all that great) but just the fact that someone hates you for no reason is the bothersome part.
The things you wrote about me, Neeraj, and family were so right. You could understand my feelings so well Mona, that is really what friendship is all about.
I see that you really do understand how it is that you have to deal with your family making decisions that impacts the rest of your life…without you having much control. I am definitely feeling it. 
Hopefully all will go well…all I can do is pray.
Thanks for the uplifting…i needed it.
December 8th, 2004 at 12:11 am
Arrey Poonam, life is a roller coaster ride.. kabhi up.. aur kabhi down.. Don’t worry… just keep up the spirit at work… Good times are always round the corner…
December 8th, 2004 at 12:42 am
Really, if you can’t have control over a situation and its a lifetime decision… it sometimes frustrates
But let’s hope for the best… we will pray for both of you too and hope things go smooooooth….
Is your boss an Indian or American:?:
December 8th, 2004 at 1:57 am
he he he…. har gham ko dhuen mein udata chala gaya….
Hope u feeling beeter now :). Its strange that I was 2 feeling little low but may b not dat much.
Manpreet: People also say that life is a circle :p (just adding humor not depression).
Ankur: I guess she would be American and some Indian might have taken her job or something n she might be pissed oof at Indians… that was just a fragment of my imagination. But I do come across people who tell me that Indians are taking our jobs….they think am mexican….blah.
Poonam: Don’t worry about Neeraj & U, I mean its not like that if I say don’t worry to u’ll stop worrying n stuff but I believe in “jo hona hai woh to hona hi hai”…..then y worry about it.
& is that Dates 2 rmmbr a plugin? If yes then i’ll also put that, atleast kuch to yaad rahega.
December 8th, 2004 at 8:30 am
Poonam just believe in yourself and the one on top floor :grin:God, I mean few people hate for no reason ? could be? that they judge people without knowing them? I mean they build certain perception about an certain individual even without knowing them which is wrong but still even I have come across people who do that but then later realize that what they anticipated it isn?t so.. when they come to know more and more about the person ? might be your lady manager has wrong perception about you
And things which one does have control its best to leave it up to god just pray and hope for the best , its not worth worrying but then its human habit to keep thinking cant stop?
always can try not to stress oneself too much well can indulge in something you do like could be do painting listening to music or, cooking if you like? I usually like driving at marine drive or ?painting or sleeping .. or just being with friends ?.When mind occupied with so many things and don?t know what to do what not to do these thing help me empty the mind? and then think with fresh perspective
take care
December 8th, 2004 at 9:06 am
And for you and me, do not worry so much since God is with us:smile: will do great for us and that’s what He has done for us always:smile: just post a comment after reading my comment and the first thing I want to see is your smiley face:smile: just do that and forget everything:smile:
December 8th, 2004 at 9:13 am
bhul gayi sab kuch…the only problem professionaly jo face kar sakti hoon ke this manager might be my manager on another project because she is part of my security group. Hopefully that will not happen.
Bhagwaan…sahi hai Bhagwaan toh hamare saath hai…:smile:
December 8th, 2004 at 9:43 am
You said it so right Ankur. My frustration is just there. My manager is American.
Gaurav, she is not prejudice if that’s what you are getting at…she doesn’t think i took her job because i am two levels below her…but really she never liked me…my senior colleague that told me about this is from Nigeria..and they interact just fine…so i really don’t know what vendetta she has against me…but its frustrating.
I just worry alot about Neeraj and myself only because there is something that we want: to be together ASAP…..if there is a road block that comes in between..that makes me worried. Toh dekhte hain…your philosophy is manageable.
Yes that is the dates to remember plugin.
Judging is one aspect that might have taken place in this situation Puneet. Quite right on that. I was thinking the very same. Oh well, in true words, i can’t really change her judgement becuz i am not in the office.
The empty mind theory is quite true too. I haven’t been able to do much work even just becuz my mind has been bogged. Maybe now…I will try to keep my mind off and let time take its toll.
Thanks to everyone for their support.
December 8th, 2004 at 10:51 am
Poonam! how are you feeling today…
:???:
December 8th, 2004 at 1:10 pm
December 8th, 2004 at 6:25 pm
I dunno … maybe I am female too
so yeah I can understand the feeling being hated by someone for no reason. It’s so annoying and you are curious why it happened. I think we are girls thinking more about this thing rather than guys 
), why we are spending our times thinking about a person who doesn’t even feel quilty at all for hating us ? By thinking like this, it will make us feel better 
However, just think like this ( I always do it
I can understand your feeling, because it happened to me last time before I get married. It’s involving the whole family. It’s really frustating when you can’t make any decisions for your own future. But it will pass
don’t worry … everything will be allright, I wish you the very happy happy life for you and Neeraj 
December 9th, 2004 at 8:48 am
Thanks the good wishes Mona.
Things should be okay..but it definitely worries and even scares me at time. One wrong move..and many things will change quickly. Anyway, spirits will be up from now on. 