Horrendous and Disgusting…And Getting Worse
Three to four women are raped in the state of Uttar Pradesh every single day. What a horrendous statistic. 
It can be sure that the Mulayam Singh Yadav government isn’t doing much for the security of its women in that state, but really how can any woman feel safe living there? How can parents feel safe knowing that there daugthers are out? I am all about women liberalism, but let’s be realistic here 
Today I was reading this article about this girl who was raped in Lucknow. Times of India reported the same incident but said that the three men that raped her were sons of a Basic Shiksha Adhikari (BSA), an engineer, and a junior engineer with Indian Railways. 
Just recently I have heard or read about too many rape cases in India. The other two that I read about both quite similar in case that the man that raped the woman said that he would marry his victim. I don’t think that’s a good idea either, but in one of the cases, the victim agrees. Another one that I heard was in Mumbai where a policeman raped a girl near Marine Drive. Its just really disgusting. 
I don’t know if India is just going through a phase and soon this will end or if really this is a major issue, but whatever it is — it is soon getting out of hand. 
Rape is coming up too often and usually the latter effect it is when you see it on TV serials. Astitva: Ek Prem Kahani (yes i am using it as an example 
) showed exactly the same incident that happened to this Lucknow girl, with a few minor differences. Alot of times serials get their ideas from what is happening in society today, and rape is a topic that has come up time and time again.
How can we stop it? First of all, Indian teenage gals — start wearing some clothes! 
That one of the main problems right there, if you attract the male, then he will come running. Second of all, educate! I get the sense that Indian women don’t know what they should do in a rape situation. I remember having date rape education when I was school, and its something that should be visited with Indian schools as well. Third of all, women shouldn’t travel alone. This Lucknavi girl was going back home from work (she works as a maid), and she got stopped by these goons. Again, education will play a part in this. Then the question becomes how do you educate those ladies who don’t go to school? Geez! Not everyone goes to school, but just about everyone has a cellphone??? Maybe there should be a program, a hotline, or other classes where girls can go and learn about this. I don’t know — but something needs to be done!
This past week on Astitva (I talk about my fav. serial all the time 
), they showed this young non-married couple who had come from the UK and went to Goa to interview a famous author. Little did they know, their driver knew that they were from out of town and after he noticed that they were not able to find the author, he told them that he will take them to him. Total phasaao. What to say next? He took him to this sunsaan place where there was no one and at night time, basically killed the bf first, and then raped the girl. It was just horrendous to think something like this happens in this world. I was just horrified. 
Take it with a grain of salt, but I have a feeling this is going to become an even major issue if this isn’t resolved soon
Alvida. Jai Mata Di.
…
May 5th, 2005 at 12:31 pm
Poonam, I see your point, about getting upset on the rape issue…It is upsetting that this is happening in the country, though I am happy that for once, the girl, the family and the media are reporting these issues. At least they are getting noticed and people are talking about preventing it.
However, the solution of wearing some clothes doesn’t quite appeal to me… I have worked in Delhi and traveled in DTC buses/ Blue Lines all the time. Inspite of wearing Salwar kameez or trouser and shirt, people look at you disgustingly. A man even remarked to a woman who was wearing a decent cotton sari in the bus once:” If you dare to take a bus at 8.00 in the night, then you are bound to attract these disgusting looks and that it is quite clear that you aren’t from a respectable family because you are out so late in the night” Of course he got a lot of rude remarks fro me.. But the point is that even if you are fully covered from head to toe… some men will be men and nothing can stop them!
Again, never travel ALONE isn’t a solution…. Of course one needs to be smart not to travel alone at 1.00 AM… but it’s just not possible to be accompanied by someone all the time…
I think the key here is education not only for woman but for men too (to tell them to respect woman etc..);and some kind of lectures in every small part of India to increase knowledge on what and how to go about things, if unfortunately one ever faces such a situation.
May 5th, 2005 at 3:57 pm
Poonam…yes, this is a social evil that is creeping into the Indian society (well, has been there, but is getting worse now).
But I really don’t agree that what women/girls wear matters:no:. Most of these rape’s victims are girls from very poor families (who usually dress up very decently). Such girls don’t even raise their voice many times (no wonder so many rapes are still never reported in India) and if some of the courageous ones do, the families are usually given some money to keep their mouth shut.
Also, not going out alone is no solution. Are you talking about women liberalization:shock:?? I mean, if girls start staying home just with this fear in their mind, how would our country really progress.
Giving proper education to girls is the best solution:yes:. Also, I personally think that the law/government should step up and give the worst punishment to any person who is caught for raping a girl. This is one of the biggest crimes anyone could ever commit and an imprisonment of 10-15 years really is not enough. Once these crooks out there know that they could be tortured to death for such a crime, they would think twice before committing it. But then, I am sure there are many shameful people out there, who would be scared of nothing. So the girls need to know how to protect themselves. But ofcourse, girls are physically weaker than men, so maybe there should be a device which every woman in the country should always carry with her which would protect her from such crooks at all the times.
May 5th, 2005 at 5:44 pm
The point you make about the clothes not being a factor is also a good one. You are right, men will be men, no matter what women wear.
Ok now the point on traveling alone. I think that if a girl, no matter what her job is, if she has to go home at 9 pm then she should ask her malik to take her home, ask a friend to pick her up, or find other means of transportation. If she can’t do any of the above, then let me tell you, no job is worth your life.
Education to both men and women is also a great idea. Good thoughts!
Well Mannat what a girl wears does play a part. If you ask guys the thing that attracts them the most to girls is dependent on what she is wearing. The girl that got raped on Marine Drive in Mumbai was wearing a revealing top and a short skirt. I think girls should just be careful. Everyone can’t do what actresses do in movies…this is real life.
I guess my point of traveling alone didn’t get through very clearly. My point for that is given above that there should be alternatives to getting the girl home from work (in the case of the Lucknavi girl). Girls should not travel by themselves in areas that they know might not be safe. I don’t care if you are a maid or what, how can you work if you don’t have a life? So again, no job is worth the chance of living. Protect life first, make money second.
The guy that pleaded to marry his victim got life in prison. Women are able to fight back from rape…just because they are physically weaker doesn’t mean they can’t fight back. Lot of women here in the USA keep pepper spray with them or keep a whistle. I remember when I was in school, and we would have a rape discussion, they told us to use other tactics such as biting or throwing your weight. So there are ways to fight back other than screaming your lungs out.
But better punishment is a must, like you said.
May 5th, 2005 at 7:30 pm
I agree with you Poonam, we are as women, we need to learn how to defend ourselves. You know … one of my dreams was to able to learn defence skills, eg aikido, karate, kungfu
so I can protect myself. Unfortunately, I don’t think I have talents in those 
I learnt Aikido once last time, it’s interesting 
Even in Indonesia, rape problem is one of the biggests problems and people still think it’s taboo. So there are a lot of rape cases which are not being revealed. It’s really sad … because it means no punishment for the rapest. It will encourage people to do more rapes because they think they will not get any punishments
May 5th, 2005 at 9:15 pm
Poonam, yes, clothes do matter….but what I meant was that many of the girls who dress up very decently have also become a victim of rape. And yes, u r right…we need to keep the real life seperate from reel life.
And yes, women do need to defent themselves. And being physically weaker should definitely not be used against the women. Using brains under under such circumstances is definitely more imp. than using strength:yes:
May 6th, 2005 at 12:08 am
to an extent u r right abt wearing the right clothes, but i notice u havent said nething abt how men must be prevented from doing such things…women must wear clothes, women must have education, women mustnt go alone at night…but wut abt men? these r just precautions…how can we stop these incidents from happening altogther, assuming it is possible? how to drill sense into them? such things cant be taught with education…it needs to come from within…it’ll take something more than education to bring abt a positive change in men…
but tell me, is the situation this bad only in india? wut abt the american continents? is the rate much lower there or we just dont hear abt them?
May 6th, 2005 at 12:17 am
I will not go into what has already been said. I agree with most of this post. But the biggest thing I would like to add is what ..V.. said. Men need to be educated. Men need to be educated to respect women. That women are not play objects for them to use or abuse. This again goes back to women liberalization. If men realize that women are just as big a part of society as they are, and if they realize that they need to respect these women and their dignity, there might be a change. Any man who respects a woman will never commit rape. Having said that, we all know how hard it for it to happen in a country of such magnitude and population, especially one that has such low literacy and education. But such rape cases being reported and being out there is a start. I mean I do think the same number of rapes happened before but they were just not reported, now as they are getting reported people are becoming more aware and thats a start..and things can be taken on from there with what you said. My penny worth of thoughts there….
May 6th, 2005 at 3:02 am
o i tell u what the solution is… SEVERE PUNISHMENT SENTENCES AND COURT GIVING THE VERDICT IN A WEEKS TIME ! and cops who dont co-operate in doing the test n filing a report be also penalised !
once ppl start getting justice and rapists thrown in jail the would be rapist would think twice before taking a step…
abt the clothes… o well the debate can go both ways…
education yes… but in india doesnt exist or mayb in some schools in the cities…
n O one more thing… stop showing rape scenes in serials and then showing the guy walking scott free coz the lawyer is smart enuf to prove it otherwise!!!
o in astitva… o well wait n watch Poonam… tons of things gonna happn soon… hehe
May 6th, 2005 at 3:36 am
Why i am not able to see my comment? I wrote such a long long one… and :(
May 6th, 2005 at 3:37 am
Poonam… check your mailbox… !! Sent you a mail!!
May 6th, 2005 at 8:24 am
Thanks Poonam… you will definitely see more of me here…
Again, about traveling alone… As I said earlier, I used to work in Delhi and trust me sometimes, you job targets or demands or your own zeal to work is so high( in order to reach your goals) that you are bound to get late. It’s not that the job is not worthwhile or that one gets late everyday…but if I have to live in a fear that if today I get late… something might happen to me… then why should I even be a part of that society…
Some professions have you work in shifts… so does that mean that the girl should just not work then… because some men can’t control their urges!!! Why should any girl pay for the crime committed by men? And why is she the sufferer?
I agree with V … men should be taught how to respect women… how to think of a girl as another human being… More than women… the change needs to be made in the mentality of men…Of course educating women on defending themselves is a good idea too…:D
May 6th, 2005 at 8:51 am
Did I just see that written here?!?!?! So, now we have an RSS representative in the US as well :irked::banghead:
May 6th, 2005 at 8:57 am
ok ok… not the RSS, but Shiv Sena… bahhh, they’re all the same.
May 6th, 2005 at 8:59 am
Another link
May 6th, 2005 at 9:15 am
my thoughts:
hey know what, me thinks- its not the clothes, its the respect people have for women that matters, females in western countries wear far lesser clothes, but law and order is not as bad
right through the times, women have been respected in India as the giver of life, temples of orissa depict nude and erotic carvings of women too, but whats different now is that somewhere down the line indian males have lost the respect for females. which is apalling…. what is needed is stricter laws and maybe the government can set an example with the mumbai issue, this wont solve the problems of changing the mindsets, but atleast it wud be a start….
men also need to realise that sex is not for carnal satisfaction its something far more sacred.
A certain politico-religious group of india, have asked young girls to refrain from wearing clothes which are “not of our culture” so that they dont arise interest in men…. if these clothes are not a part of culture then neither is rape.
{I hope that i havent made it sound like a debate, its Poonam’s blog and she posts whatever she believes in, this is just a humble comment}
May 6th, 2005 at 10:35 am
Hey Anat… I agree with you completely…:yes:Some where down the road men have lost respect for women.:no: Clothes don’t play a big role. It’s the environment and values that the society carries around you… Men in India have been taught to oppress women :banghead:and use them as objects for ages now.:banghead: To be able to get out from that thinking will take a lot of education and stricter laws…:yes:
Having said that, guys please don’t feel bad about me talking like that for guys… I am not talking about the educated, sophisticated men from India… I am really talking of the issue as a whole and in a bigger perspective… If you see around you…men who are not well educated or don’t respect another human being end up in such a heinous crime…:!:
Now Poonam, I am sure, you were happy when I wasn’t commenting much!:grin:
May 6th, 2005 at 10:45 am
–Announcements–
I got your email Manpreete will do it hopefully on Sunday.
Also, I don’t know why your comment didn’t come through, but I do hope that you write it again. 
Don’t worry Anat about it becoming a debate, I always like hearing other people’s views and really that’s how we can learn from each other’s experiences.
I know that I learn alot of what you all say; sometimes even my views change because of it. So don’t worry about it becoming a debate. 
–End of Announcements–
Definitely agree Mona dear with you about the defense skills.
Even I want to learn karate and hopefully I will soon in the future. 
For me and for the assurance of my family, I must be confident that I can defend myself in a situation like that — right now I do think I could, but I know that I could learn some more techniques to be better. Even if you don’t know those skills, its just really important, like Madhu said, to be smart. Don’t go out by yourself really late at night and also be aware of the area that you are in. If you know its not the best place, then don’t be there. 
Interesting enough that it happens in Indonesia the same way where many rape cases are not brought to justice or even brought into the limelight.
Its quite sad…something needs to be done about this!
Yup agreed Mannat that it does happen, and most likely the case with the Lucknavi girl, that she was decently dressed. She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. It didn’t say, from what I remember, what time she was leaving, but she should have been more careful. I don’t put the blame on her at all, but you just have to be a bit smarter these days…people take advantage of other people so quickly, that you have to watch your back, and really just look out for your own self. So definitely your thoughts and mine are matching up.
Exactly V because it will take more than just education to stop a man, its necessary that women also not instigate it. I know that alot of teenage women follow the fashion trends of actresses, but you have to be smart about it. You must know when to wear it and where to wear it. Agreed that everything I said was for women, and what can we do for men? I can’t say that just uneducated men do this, because definitely in the case of the Lucknavi girl, those guys were educated. Maybe we should educate guys and girls at a younger age…high school maybe? Or even before that..and something that should be ongoing until after junior college. In most of the cases that I read, they were guys who were past their 30s, maybe in their 40s, that committed the rape. You can’t educate those people anymore — they won’t listen, especially in India. That’s why I find it more important for the ladies to do something. They have to step up and be safe in order to stop this.
Now I remember very clearly when I was in junior high school and high school, rape was a big issue, and they thought us what we need to do to be safe. Many of things have been mentioned here. I feel that its gotten better atleast here in the United States. I think that women are stronger than they were before, and now know how to handle the situation better. They fight for themselves or just don’t put themselves in that position. It still happens, and you still hear the cases. I remember a really bad one happen in New York during the Puerto Rico Day Parade or something like that. There was a riot or guys just being rowdy, and this young newly married couple had come from France to sightsee in New York. Those rowdy guys got around them, shoved the husband out of the way, and gang raped the French lady in broad daylight. That was of the worst cases I have heard of — that really opened my eyes. You just have to be careful!
Unless education starts at a younger age for guys and girls Kaush dear, I think it will be harder to educate middle age men. You know one thing that can be done, that I have been saying from day one of this blog is make better movies and remix videos
Alot of guys gets the ideas from these stupid movies and crap like that. It needs to stop.
I do agree with you that its good that these cases are brought out into the media.
I think people should be aware of the consequences of what happens when you do this. Maybe that was part of the problem previously that cases weren’t being brought into the media, hence guys kept on doing it. I would say that the issue of rape has gotten worse in the last ten years in India. What do you say?
You have great thoughts Kunal — but its a dream, man. Its just a dream. Our Indian courts should get a verdict out in weeks’ time, but its not going to happen anytime soon, and that itself is very sad.
Out of the cases that I mentioned, only one do I remember vividly that the rapist got life in prison. They should be sentenced to death — someone mentioned that in the comments…and I agree fully!!!
How can the clothes go both ways? Yes, education needs to be done installed in all schools in India on how to deal with rape. Do it in schools or make it a program, I don’t care, but do something so that our next generation doesn’t face the problems that we are facing today.
100% agree on the serials part!! Good point!
Ok Madhu I still think that this can happen. Here is my point: no job is more important than your life. I believe in this with my whole heart. How can you work for something if you are not alive??? I have been working since the age of 16. I worked at a gift shop where I would have to leave the place at 9 pm. Now my city is no bigger than a gaon. Its only got 15,000 people and let me tell you after 9 pm…the only people you see are those who are either homeless or guys who want to create trouble. At 16, I could drive but most of the time I would ask my parents or my brother to pick me up. Its just not safe to be out there by myself. You hear alot about girls being abducted from parking lots and such, and even in my small town, I didn’t take that risk. You have to be smart.
This Lucknavi girl was a domestic maid. She was going home from where she worked. Again, I don’t know the time that she left because it wasn’t mentioned, but whatever it was, she should have asked her malik to drop her off or told him/her that you know she doesn’t feel safe leaving at this time. Even if it is routine, and nothing happens on a usual basis, she should have taken more precaution. How many rapes happen in Lucknow??? I visited the place for three days, and I didn’t feel safe at all. Now granted, maybe she doesn’t know the situation of how bad it is, but you just can’t take that risk.
Working night shifts is another. I am just saying you should either have someone from your family or friends come and pick you up, or go from some safe transportation (which will be hard to find at night), or ask your boss or whoever to drop you. If they can’t even think for your safety, than is it really worth working for them??? I feel very strongly about this issue — women shouldn’t travel alone if they know the area is not safe.
Agreed that men should be educated, but guaranteed a middle aged man in his late 30s or 40s who has never respected women, will not start respecting them even after he goes to a program. The best thing we can do is start educating the next generation of men or just make the consequences worse — initiate the death penalty as the consequences for committing rape.
I don’t know what RSS stands for Rashu dear. Care to elaborate.
I was in India the past December and January…I saw what teenage girls were wearing..and let me tell you its getting worse. Why? Because our movies and remix videos are getting worse. Parents are not as strict with their children as they were before. Now dear, I know that you would compare this to Jamshedpur, because I am talking mainly about mainstream cities such as Delhi, Mumbai, Ahmedabad, Bangalore..etc.. Clothes make a difference. I read it somewhere, and you can read it above in my previous comment that guys say that clothes is one of the instigators for them wanting to get close to women. Wear more decently and maybe you won’t attract as many eyes if you wore something scantily.
I will look at your links later.
Females do wear less in other countries Anat, but many of them can also defend themselves or are smart about it when they wear it (and we are not talking abt. prostitutes). Indian women don’t know how to defend themselves. How many women carry pepper spray in India??? Hardly. You have to do something to protect yourself. Women have to take the iniaitives.
The case becomes if you can’t educate the man, what do you do? Do you do nothing? No. You still try to protect yourself.
Clothes is an issue. My views have been exhausted on that issue.
Government should do something about it…but when? Government has so many issues and backlog, that we will never get to the rape victims. That’s really sad as well..but that’s reality.
Kamasutra is part of our culture, we all know that. Its something we can’t change. Rape is not part of our culture — i don’t think its part of any culture. Having sexual intercourse with your loved one is one thing, raping someone is another. So I don’t think you can blame it on those temple structures or paintings. Yes, men don’t respect women, because women stopped respecting themselves. That is where the issue of clothes comes into place and also the media. Get rid of these stupid movies and remix videos!
May 6th, 2005 at 10:46 am
May 6th, 2005 at 10:56 am
You may not agree with them, but that’s your opinion.
They make some good points, and of course teenagers are not going to agree, because its against them. 
Thanks for the links!
May 6th, 2005 at 11:27 am
RSS stands for rashtriya swayam sewak dal.
hmmmm Poonam u sound a bit flustered, i didnt mean to offend u.
please meko ek sweet si smile de do.
tata
May 6th, 2005 at 11:33 am
Its always great hearing from everyone.
I don’t get offended very easily…I just like to put my opinion down. 
May 6th, 2005 at 11:38 am
smile ka kya hua?
May 6th, 2005 at 11:40 am
May 6th, 2005 at 1:38 pm
Nice to know that you don’t mind me commenting here so much…:grin:
I disagree about having someone at my disposal to pick me up all the time:no:. I used to be out of home till 10.00 PM in the night for work and would still come by myself because I refused some one to do me favors… That doesn’t mean that I wasn’t smart enough to carry a cell phone or not to travel from isolated raastas… I refused the especially reserved ladies seat in Delhi buses because I wanted equality….. But that’s because I was educated and I knew that I had to be smart to protect my self from evil eyes.:yes:
But when we talk about rapes, the girls are normally from lower society mostly…and no one cares for them much.:grumpy: Neither their parents, not their siblings…:no: they have way too many kids to be taken care off rather than to go and pick up their daughter from where she is working at night.:!:
When we talk of women liberation, we aren’t talking about giving them protection or special rights…:no::no::no: We are talking about giving them freedom… Freedom to be … like what we have here in US… freedom to talk, to dress, to have fun, to be what you want to be….Unfortunately, in India.. That is no where to be seen… (Again, I am not talking about the so called ‘ rich class women ‘!)
I agree that educating men at 30/40 years and thinking that their mind set will change is not possible. What appalls me is that some of my good men friends who have studied at respectable schools in India and have a good family and an excellent environment also don’t end up respecting their wives/sisters/mothers for some small things….:banghead:and they are of all 22 -30 years of age…:banghead: literally grew up with us…It’s a thing instilled by the men of the family to their sons and the tradition just passes on….I wonder when will these educated men too start to respect woman and teach their future generations to do the same as you suggested… the key is understanding that every individual has a right to live…:yes: be it a man or woman.. the respect has to be for the life of a human being… which very few people have in India…
:mrgreen:I could write an entire paper on this!:mrgreen: I should have done my Masters in Social Work, I guess:rotfl:!! I strongly feel about this!
I love your smileys….:razz::lol::yes::grin::mrgreen:, as you can see!!
May 6th, 2005 at 1:56 pm
Good to see that you like the smileys, even I like them.
I am trying to find some new and good ones. 
I would like two whole rows of smileys, which I haven’t been able to accomplish yet. 
Ok now to your points. I can’t say that I agree just yet. I agree on the fact that many of times those who are raped are from the poorer families, but still something needs to be done. Women in general can’t sit on the fact that men will change. Men aren’t going to change and even you agree upon this from what I understood from your comment.
So these women have to change. If you are uneducated or not as educated then there has to be some program to tell you know how to protect yourself. I, just like the next woman, am all for women liberalization in India. Women should be able to be in any position that male is currently in, but at the same time, its a fact everywhere that women are more likely to be raped than a man. For this fact, women have to do something about it — such as carry pepper spray or have someone pick them up. I don’t really care what solution is taken, but something has to be done on the women side, and I truly believe that.
I, for one, feel the very same as you that I am as capable or more capable than any man…but that doesn’t mean I don’t take precautions. By taking precautions doesn’t make me lesser than any man — it makes me smarter because only I know how to protect myself. For me my life is more important than equality. I want to live to a good life and a life where I feel secure. If that causes to call my parents or my brother or my husband to pick me up from my job, then by all means I will do it.
Now you might feel that you are putting down women liberalism by asking a man for help — I just don’t feel that way.
May 6th, 2005 at 2:31 pm
Difference of opinion! That’s all!
May 7th, 2005 at 12:45 am
“First of all, Indian teenage gals — start wearing some clothes”
:O U talking like… shiv sena in news they were showing the initial reaction was the article published in shiv sena mouth piece was.. This… only… –à will wearing burkha prevent the crime… ? I don’t agree to this point …. I think it’s a social problem..and a psychological research need to be done to reach the root cause of problem
Rape is very brutal crime I think… as a society … things need to be changes… and there should be speedy trial and strong punishment to give justice…
Recently I read in paper a rapist in court offered to marry a girl whom he had raped… so that he can go Scot free… of the trial…how can someone have so much audacity to even do such a thin….. obviously.. the girls… refused and asked for strict punishment…
So many comment on this topic would read… them now..
May 7th, 2005 at 1:09 am
After reading all comments
Clothes …again wearing burkha wont goona eliminate rape…women get raped in Afghanistan, Iran etc this isn’t any justification.. I agree with Madhu and V comment … they said most of the things which I would have written …. Also
I agree with Poonam women should learn to depends themselves learn karate or carry pepper or chilly spray ..
Poonam Yes, men don’t respect women, because women stopped respecting themselves. Too good point …
Also with regards to clothes I feel it upto the person what he/she chooses to wear I would add clothes should which appropriate meant for particular time and occasion …
Like you cant be wearning a backless evening party dress and be walking on the road at night… ? nor can u wear sari or salwar kameez and go for swimming
May 7th, 2005 at 5:15 am
hi Poonam, so after quite some days.. am back again :)
seems i did miss some posts, but read all those..
I agree with u on the aspect of imparting some basic education to women abt how to protect themselves in such situations.. but, all said… its really difficult to reach each n every part of India… I also feel that for such cases, the accused should not be left with jus some lifetime imprisonment or so.. they should be hanged to death.. only then ppl will stop fearing the punishment.
U know, very recently in Bangalore too there was an incident of a 31 year old being raped by a gang of ppl right infront of her two children.:mad: My god…. those guys should be really beaten to death…:yes:
Only fear will stop ppl from doing such activities and such fear can be imparted on the ppl only thro’ strict punishments…
So, has Neeraj found out that address???
Hmm, seems u r going to have a great time the next few months with lots of b’days and celebrations.. :)
Hope to meet u tomorrow at the Virtual Desi bloggers meet.. :)
May 7th, 2005 at 7:14 am
I will be a diplomat here, and comment…no use pinning the blame on only the male or female.Both are equally to blame. Its all about attitude and conciensce really. one draws their lines themselves. If the man lacks conciencse, then he wud rape the woman in burka and if he respects woman, he wont touch a nude woman just coz she is nude and inviting.!!!Admire he might..but not go to ape her. Goes for female too…if she doesnt want to draw unwarranted attention on herself,(coz men being men) she would dress up accordingly and if she does then she should also be aware of what she exactly means to do that..i think that basically sums it up…
May 7th, 2005 at 10:24 am
Many of your points have been discussed..and yup even the one case you mentioned I had referred in my post.
Good to see you back Prasad.
I agree that it is hard to reach each and every part of India, but really something needs to be done. Some social work has to take place because many of the times the problem occurs in smaller villages. Some action needs to be taken to try to educate as much as we can.
Yup you are right abt. the punishment. Just like Kunal said it something that should be done. It would be a great solution but the chances of it happening anytime soon is very slim.
Neeraj is still looking for that address. He found a batchmate at IIT Kanpur who is currently helping for the address and phone number. Thanks for asking!
Yup lots of bdays and celebrations. One starts today with Mother’s Day/Mumma B’day. Its Mumma’s weekend.
Yup I hope to be online..if I don’t forget.
Well said Mallika.
I agree with you. The problem is on both genders. They have both made mistakes..and both need to be realized. Burka is not even issue. Girls should wear more decent clothes is all I said. Pata nahi burka kahan se beech main aa gaya hai:!: 
May 7th, 2005 at 12:41 pm
Poonam you cant put down a point by saying you are a college going kid Puneet, btw I I am graduate now…:blush: only waiting for result.. lol…:rotfl:
Anyways I think your dress point is baseless … and reading the comment.. of others .. there are many who would refute this point
After reading the comment I would conclude its more about a respect for women.. and last comment of Mallika summarizes this debate perfectly….
bye:wave:
May 7th, 2005 at 4:49 pm
Its just horrendous to say the least. Men who commit these acts should be…err.. I rather not mention that word on this blog.
And to see news about cops getting involved in raping young girls…its just disgusting. Depresses me.
Ashwin
May 7th, 2005 at 6:16 pm
I said the same to Rash…becuz u guys are living it right now.. you are in college..and of course you are the ones that refuted on what Shiv Sena said..which I think was right.
Baghban, the movie, also hits upon this when the guy takes advantage of Hema Malini and Amitabh’s granddaughter at the discotheque…the guy says..”pehle toh aaise chote chote kapde pahinnti ho..hamara dil jalaati ho..aur phir oopar se bhaav khaati ho”
that’s just an example..i can give you tons more.
Any of my college going cousins would also agree with you….its only becuz u are living it right now..and anything against that..you would not favor. its quite simple if you think about it.
I know why you think my dress point is baseless becuz it goes against what you are saying. Soch soch ki baat hai Puneet..
Yup Ashwin..agree its horrible. Too many cases in the news these days. Hopefully something will bring it more into control.
May 7th, 2005 at 10:44 pm
hmm… this is a big issue and a topic to debate on… seeing the amount of discussion going on here, I can only say that we need some sort of solution for sure… and the solution lies in each and every person.. knowing n respecting women as they are… Mallika’s point was good… hope men learn to respect women more, and hope women too know their limitations and act accordingly….
Hey, am ready for the bloggers meet…. but, no one seems online… its already past 9am in India
May 8th, 2005 at 3:52 am
Hey girl, a personal thanks for being at the meet. It was fun. A little chaotic in the beginning, but it did get settled down. Well we learnt a lot.Next time should be less chaotic :) Hope you enjoyed :)
May 8th, 2005 at 10:17 am
:no:i think there is one very important thing abt clothes……u have to dress according to the place where u reside/coexist with other people. For example, it just doesnt appeal to me to appear in hot pants in a satsang or go to a disco in lehenga. Mind you, noone wud stop me (lets not bring parents into picture where the hot pants and temple are concerned :mrgreen:), but yet i wud not go wearing thsee clothes coz they just do not suit the occassion or mood. Very similarly u cannot appear in a mini skirt in a bus crowded with men coz u cannot, just cannot control others. what is in ur hands is to make ur own decisions and be “aware” and “mature” to know what your actions, or in this matter, clothes will reflect. In life everything is symbolic somewhere so are clothes. U know what i have seen most of the times is that people who are not comfortable with what they are wearing are the ones who are eveteased/molested and targetted “most of the times” in cities. as i said just be aware and mature of ur actions coz to judge others is very easy and somewhere u cannot control the actions of others. that is how the clothes matter….i mean looking at the bigger picture in mind. Somewhere as a girl i have concluded that men will be men and nothing will stop them. You can expect ur boyfriend/husband to be truthful to u but not where other men are concerned…all tangents thought ..i think some are even parallel to each other..hope u all dun get confused and gosh!! i manage to sound intellectual too:lol: (or so i think…..hehehehe)
May 8th, 2005 at 11:52 pm
Hey thanks for coming by Kaush.
That was really nice gesture. 
It was really great of you to organize this…even though I didn’t know a lot of people….i was glad to see the good turnout of the people @ the meet. 
You are intellectual Mallika! You should really comment more often.
Anyway, I definitely agree with you and at some point in my comments I wanted to convey the message that you have just given and said so perfectly. 
I totally agree with you that it definitely matters what you wear at what time. Once again, well said!! 
August 6th, 2007 at 2:20 am
I have read all your statements and quite agree with all of these. I hope you will keep writing in the same way and spirit.