Change in Personality Isn’t Easy
If there is one thing you could change about your personality what would it be?
What would your answer be? 
I would try to control my anger. I have a short temper, which I have gotten from my Papa, that I want to learn to control. 
At times, I feel that I am doing a better with it, but then I see myself reverting back to my old self. I get angry with Neeraj on things that he can’t control, and then its only time later that I realize what a mistake I made. Why do I do such things? I know better than that, but still I am just not able to control it. The ultimate goal that I have for myself is to be totally patient and not get hyper or upset on any matter, even those where my feelings are being hurt.
When I am angry, I just can’t let go of it until I am fully satisfied. An apology doesn’t cut it for me but knowing the fact that the mistake won’t happen again is when I feel better. My temper gets me into trouble, and I hate it. 
I want to improve, and I know that Neeraj will definitely help me with that. 
I wish it could be something that happens overnight, but changing a part of your personality isn’t as easy as one thinks. 
So what would you change and why?
Alvida. Jai Mata Di.
June 8th, 2005 at 12:51 am
me firstttttttt……….
this is a serious issue… u should learn to control ur temper!!!
Oh, Poonam… this message is not for u.. its for me
Ya, even I get into alot of trouble with my temper…
and the reason, I believe, is am a little sensitive sometiems… and when someone irritates me, I really cannot control my temper and end up shouting…. :(
I used to be lot more sensitive during my college days, but now I’ve learnt how to control it… so, the change is happening…
Yet, as u said, its not soooo easy to transform… and I loose my temper once in a while…
June 8th, 2005 at 2:39 am
ah moi aussi… but now i am cool :P
i used to be really short tempered years back… i would blow off on my bro or mom and hated it… n i used to feel v guilty later on but over the years i hv just learnt to be patient… i rarely get angry with neone now… if i do then its out of frustration n for things i cant control as u wisely mentioned…
at times its good to get it all out… n if u hv an understanding partner nothing like it… yeah but u shud realise that u shudnt hv got angry in the first place… i hv realised one more thing that we tend to get angry only on ppl we are v close too…
n hey mistakes happn all the time… u kn at times its better to kinda joke ab it and get the msg across works with me… the other person gets the msg and is careful next time… n i always gv a person 3 chances to make the same mistake before i totally get mad :P
i will tell u one more thing… u shud try n do some physical excercise… go for a jog or nething… it always helps in getting rid of that frustration… i used to walk like mad when i used to get angry ab sthg… after the walk i wud be calm n ofcourse tired to even get angry on neone…
another thing when u get angry try n do sthg which u like…. watch some tv go in an diff environment… it usually takes ur mind of it n helps u think better later…
and thats all for the day we shall continue this class on tue at 11am :P attendance is compulsary !
June 8th, 2005 at 3:20 am
hmmm…that’s something even i wud like to control…as u said, even if it involves situations where i am being hurt. but then i think isnt being unfair to myself? if it’s my mistake, i own up…but for no fault of mine why shud i be at the receiving end? i wish to strike a balance betn the two extremes, else we wud be taken for granted by the everyone!
June 8th, 2005 at 4:24 am
I think anger is most of people’s problem. People can lose their temper for almost any matters including man and woman. As I notice, woman can lose their temper easily on small things but man can lose their temper most on big things.
*hugss* Anger is a problem which can’t be solved in one night :) At the moment, I am reading a really good book called “You can Win”, this book is recommended by Amit and it’s excellent book. It’s telling you how to have a good personality and change your habit.
To control your anger, you need to discipline yourself and try to find something else that you can do when you are angry. When you are angry, it’s better to be alone … so you can calm yourself first. Of course sometimes, you can avoid it …. but we try our best :) At first, it will be very very difficult but later on, it will be automatic and become your habit :)
Don’t worry, you are a very very nice person that I ever know :) You should be able to do it. This anger problem is my problem too :) I get angry very easily too, even on small things. My mood changed very easily and every minutes. It’s really really stressful for Suhadi too
Luckily, Suhadi tries to understand and also Neeraj to you. But we need to do something for someone whom we love right ? I guess this motivation will be a strong motivation 
June 8th, 2005 at 4:28 am
upss I forgot to write what I want to change at the moment … I don’t have enough confidence, I always worry about what other people think about me. I always feel that I am not good enough. This personality will lead to unhealthy relationship with other people surround me and not good in working environment as well because I can’t convince other people. I don’t even believe in myself and how people can believe in me ?
I really need to change this :)
June 8th, 2005 at 8:46 am
I guess, I’ve come to ur blog after a gap of a week or so… :P
Anywayz, wishing ur bro a very happy belated b’day!! :)
Having a short temper is a bad thing… best way is to forget that thing.. and do something u enjoy!!
June 8th, 2005 at 9:37 am
Poonam, U seem to be a nice person as how u are…yeah! but if somethings u urself feel u need to change then u shuld..:)
If given that oppurtunity I would change me getting bored very easily…:)sounds weird eh! but that is how I am…in anything that am doing…I get bored very easily..I want to change that…I am very impulsive..I want to change that :)
June 8th, 2005 at 10:25 am
The thing I liked the best about your comment Kunal that I am going to try to implement in my life is the 3 strikes rule.
I think that’s a good one to give the person three mistakes before getting angry. I really like that and will try it. 
You know I have tried to change my mind and do other things to relieve my anger, but it doessn’t happen (especially if it has to do with Neeraj 
). I just have to get it cleared up right then, or it will just eat up inside of me. I guess that’s the way I am. 
Anyway, thanks for some good tips!
Well said Vidhi
My feelings exactly. 
I feel that if I don’t get angry then I will be taken advanatage of the next time as well. That’s why I show my anger so the other person realizes the mistake. 
But I guess at the same time, everyone makes mistakes and they should be forgiven. Its the repeating of mistakes that gets me more angry. 
But I am going to try Kunal’s rule. 
That sounds like a really good book Mona.
I might just pick it up myself. 
My mind at times tells me to get away from the situation when I am angry, but my heart doesn’t agree. 
It wants to talk it through right then and there. Definitely some good points as well you have brought up. 
Oh Mona, you feel that you don’t have enough confidence?
I think you are very capable in anything that you will pursue. 
I think you said it right that if you don’t have confidence in yourself, then how will others have confidence in you? But I think you can do it. 
We will both work on our weaknesses together! 
Thanks Manpreet.
Good to see you back. Thanks for the wishes. You know its not that easy for me. I have to resolve the issue — otherwise I keep thinking about it until I am satisfied.
Thanks Indu for the kind words.
Changing a bad habit or a part of your personality isn’t as easy as one thinks. I wish it was though! 
But I am trying and hopefully with the right formula, I will be on the fast track to reaching patience. 
So you get bored easily eh?
I can see how that happens. 
Sometimes it happens to me too, but if I can’t find anything else to do, I know that I can always sleep. 
June 8th, 2005 at 11:09 am
oh boy…temper talks..m very very cool and patient and i do not get angry easily. Anger saps out energy and makes you regret sometime stuff one says unintentionally…but then there are somethings in life one just cannot control…I worry..and i worry and i worry..so much so that i make people around me worry too…:grin:..and then they start having doubts about what they are doing…its always a chain reaction sometimes, if you know what i mean. its very irritating sometimes coz it blocks the thought process
June 8th, 2005 at 12:38 pm
Oh wow…so many ppl have temper problems?? Well, I guess there are a very few people in this world who are calm and don’t get mad easily. I have tried a lot to control my temper, and I think I have gotten much much better. But I am a firm believer to talk out your frustration or anger right away rather than piling it up and literally bombarding it out after it slowly builds up. And yes, the 3-strike method is great. I am not sure if I give exactly 3 chances every time…but I try not to get mad at the other person if he/she made an innocent mistake. However, if the mistake is done over & over again, then I have a reason to get all hyped up. Anyways, the important thing is that we get mad over very small things. If you take a wider perspective, there is so much more in life and there really is no use bumping up you bp over such small things…that’s another thing I always keep in mind.
Poonam, your losing temper on Neeraj is quite understandable. I guess it’s the distance and lack of ‘perfect’ communications which 2 ppl can have face to face. So don’t worry, once you guys are together, it would get much better.
June 9th, 2005 at 5:28 am
Hey Poonam n Neeraj, How are you folks are doing?. I am doing fine. My break turned out to be rather busy, offlate am so busy at work hardly getting time to blog or comment.
Coming to your post, I dont know whether we inherit our behaviour from parents. I think, it depend on the circumstances. And the way, we’ve been bought up. May be we get influenced by them. Not sure though.
And the one thing I could change, hmm patha nahin. Sometimes, I feel main jaisa hun teek hun.
Take care, Adios. :)
June 9th, 2005 at 10:46 pm
That is a good point Mannat. There are so many things in life the little things shouldn’t be what we are getting angry over…Neeraj says the same to me.
Definitely the durri we face is a problem, and I can tell you for a fact that if Neeraj is standing right in front of me, I won’t be angry with him for long. 
Thanks for the encouraging words. 
Good to see you back after your hiatus Govind.
I hope to see your blog updated soon too! 
Hmm..haven’t either of your parents ever said to you, ke “tu apne Papa par gaya hai”, or “tu apni Mummy jaisa hai”? My parents say this to me all the time, hence I believe that you do get characteristics from your parents. If anybody spends a day with my Papa, and then spends a day with me, you will definitely recognize many of the same qualities.
Khair soch soch ki baat hai.
Aur tum Mr. Perfect ho kya?? 
Good! 