Another interesting discussion Neeraj and I had as we sipped our mid-morning coffee. 
I don’t know if anybody else will find it interesting, but we surely were adament about our differing thoughts.
The question remained is family values changing in India? Are we (read: society) as willing to let our parents stay with us even in their old age? Are we, as a family, willing to stay together under one roof in the present time? By understanding the past and living the present, are we able to predict the future of family values/togetherness in India? Can you determine whether your children will keep you with them during your old age?
These are the questions that were raised. Now before reading further, take a step back and think. What is your opinion? How would you answer? You can even comment now (and let me know that you commented prior to reading the rest of the post ) and let me know your thoughts and then go ahead to read the rest of the post for our opinion.
My view in the simplest form: family values in India are deteriorating, and its going to get worse. The past and the present currently tells us that there was a time that predominantly Indian families were known to live in joint families; today we have gone through the batwaara system of “to each is his/her own”. For the future, I am going to do my very best to build in those very same values that my parents put into me, but I cannot say if our son or daugther is going to keep us with them once we are older, even if he has those values. Why? Many factors, here’s a few:
Influence of media/TV which influences society which will affect our son/daughter because he/she will be trying to adapt within that society Not only media, but changes in society is relevant to happen — there will be an affect on our son/daughter By that time our son/daughter will have his/her own family, we will not have any control on them anymore — his/her wife/husband will have influence as well on whether we are able to stay or go to an old age home
Unless if our son/daughter is headstrong on his/her beliefs and what he/she has been taught by us, these factors are going to play a part. All in all, family values have changed in the past 20 years and its going to change in the next 20 years. The probability that children will still keep their older parents with them in the same house is very low — and its a sad fact.
Neeraj’s view in the simplest form: family values are not going to change because it hasn’t changed so far. People are still living in joint families as they did during our parents time. Yes, today we are more constraints such as our jobs that cause us to live away from our families, but if the choice was there we would live together. As for the future, it will continue and the values that we build into our children will remain with them, as our parents’ taught values are in us. They will want to keep us in the same house for one reason – because they love us. Those who put their parents’ in an old age home don’t really love their parents unless if they have to put them due to some serious illness. Basically the point is that love with a family is on the decrease which has caused family values to go down.
The discussion in whole was interesting, and I think we learned a lot about each other and our thoughts. Its good to have these type of conversations as well. 
Alvida. Jai Mata Di.
ME first !
o ya i was talking ab this with someone recently… n we agreed that media played a v imp role in the future of the kids to come… they are so influenced by it … joint families do exist but breaking up in the metros… another factor “work” is taking ppl away fr the family… another factor rising incomes! ppl at a v young age are hving so much money to spend they want to live their own lifestyle which is v diff from their parents… rising incomes is giving women more power which leads to another interesting observation… if not happy in ur marriage then divorce! since woman no more is dependent on man its easy for couples to separate… family values will last for a while but then it will slowly vanish…
o btw neone here believes in end of the world happn soon n jesus coming back to save us ? loads of things written (where i forgot) are coming true, like rising temperatures. natural calamities, a mad man going at war (take a wild guess who:p), ice melting, unknown disease spreading (bird flu) blah blah…
BTW, if u do earn some moeny through adsense… lemme know as well :)
i guess one of my comments went into moderation….
family values…….yeah…nice discussion….me n my princess have these kindaa talks all the time :)
ok.. writing down my comment again
My views on the issue are similar to Neeraj’s. Family values still exit in India. They certainly are not deteriorating. Taking example of myself, I will always love my parents to live with me. I have never ever thought of leaving them alone.
Yes, its true that job pressures/education demands etc forces oneself to move out to a different city/country. But, still I can vouch that 90% of the junta given an option will love to stay along with their families. If they can’t go back to their home cities, they will ask their parents to join them. I am saying this, because I’ve seen this happening with so many of my friends, cousins etc.
Talking about feuds in joint families, woh to pehle bhi hoti thi, aur ab bhi hoti hain. Nothing new in that. Right?
Just my 2 paise on the topic
is this “junta” u talking ab married or single ?
ok here are my views..
i too accept with what Neeraj said…
family values do exist.. but may be as u said.. the media and the western influences are taking it down, but its not completely becos of tht..
its cos of working in different city and studying.. and all those unavoidable reasons tht we r being separated from our parents..
even in my case, we were discussing tht last year after my parents retirement, whether to bring them to b’lore or go and settle in our native… and I wanted them to return to our native and stay.. cos, if they come here to b’lore, its never always guarenteed tht i’ll stay in the same job and same city.. and i don’t want thme to suffer.. but, still i never want them to feel lonely.. with lots of relatives around in my native, they’lll feel happy.. i’ll also feel happy to visit them once a month.. and I make it a point to visit them often..
ok, i dono why i wrote all these here..
i jus want to make the point tht i still believe tht there r ppl who love their parents alot.. but, may be the current generation is the one in question.. yet, the way they r brought up by their parents will be the key for tht.. u r a perfect example for how ur parents brought u up with Indian values even being there in US.. right?
so, its not jus completely media and western cultures, its also got to do with the way our parents bring us up.. :)
Hi Poonam
Interesting topic … you know … I have been thinking about this thing before and have discussed with Suhadi too. I honestly have prepared that when my children have married and have their own family, if they don’t want to let us staying with them, I don’t mind at all. In fact, maybe I prefer to stay at old people house because I don’t want to disturb my children’s family. I don’t know … but it’s what I am thinking 
I think India has a really strong culture about this family value. Nowadays, I think India is one of coutries which still has this family value. Most Indians still live together as a big family. In other countries, this value almost disappears. India still holds this value strongly. I really amazed about this, that’s why I admire India culture very much
hi poonam dear…visiting this place after a LONG time…and boy! wut a change in this place!
nice one but! really miss being on my blog and those of others! wish to be back soon! u wud soon be married!! that feeling must be a great feeling…! have fun dear!
Good topic….
Family Values still hold good…
Hi Poonam & Neeraj,
Myself Neeraj not poonam wala offcourse:grin: , Came after long time, poonam might be remembering me..as I browsed this site when you were compilling urs songs for urs personal album..shared some songs with u:cool:
for getting engaged…I remember when i checked this blog Neeraj was in India…time flys…
And Congrats !!
About the topic I would like to add that family value still exits in india very much..the bond of parent & children is very strong and family value lays these foundation…
Best Wishes Always
Hi,NP(Or,PN),that was one interesting discussion,for sure…worthy of clipping and keeping as an essay.:)Family values,even in India,are definitely deteriorating where a majority of families are concerned.Reasons are many,prime amongst them being the patently blamed external factors like television,movies,foreign culture,etc. But, one internal factor which is definitely contributing is stress…right from school to college to work to old age…instead of making studies more latent talent oriented,there is an insistence on keeping them marks oriented,so,there begins the rift between children and parents…the former being forced to study more than necessary to keep up to his or her parents’ expectations…and,finally,all this boils down to the rift becoming more and more as time passes,I feel.
Hey Poonam !!
Too lazy to comment now, but just letting you know.. I’m back & hopefully would be visiting more often.
Re-Entry in the Blog World… good
One thing that you bring up Kunal which is “work”. Neeraj and I both thought of that as a “majboori” that causes you to leave your city and move somewhere else — if you had the choice, wouldn’t you live near your family? Anyway, you bring up some good points regarding the economy and women working — which I totally agree with you.
My point was Manpreet that our thought of family values has deteriorated than what it was 20 years ago, and its going to get worse in the next 20 years. Today you will keep your parents with you, but do you think your children are going to feel the same abt. you? That’s my point. Family values does exist right now in India, but its getting worse — why have siblings started to buy their own homes? Other than the fact of the job, there are families in Delhi or Mumbai that all live in the same city but in different houses. It wasn’t like this 20 years ago, why is it slowly becoming like this now?
Good question Kunal.
I think that was geared towards Manpreete. 
You make some good points Prasad — and you really made me think after reading your comment.
But the question remains, how many people are there out there in India that are like you and me? That number is definitely getting lower than it was during my parents’ generation, and why is that? What has caused that? Is it our upbringing? Is it the media? There are definitely alot of factors like you mentioned. I didn’t mean it to say that family values is totally gone in India, but its getting lesser and lesser because people want to live on their own, have their own homes, etc… I am not sure the affect of it in South India, but it is seen in bigger cities like Delhi, Mumbai, Ahmedabad, etc…
Good to see you Mona dear.
You are ready to go to an old age home?? 
Why so?? I really don’t think that parents are ever in the way of their children’s lives. I think they should always stay in touch and be with their children. You did make an excellent point that in India that family value is still greater than around the world — which is kind of sad too that its getting so bad outside of our country. 
Good to see you taking some time out to comment Vidhi dear.
Hope all is well with you and its nice to see Saahil blogging in your behalf. 
That’s really great:!:
Join in the discussion Ankur.
Thanks Neeraj Kushwaha. Of course we still remember you — you helped alot during the time we needed some crucial songs.
Thanks again! Thanks also for the wishes. 
Good to see you after a long time AmitL. Thanks for the nice words regarding the post.
Totally agree with you on the stress — so many children commit suicide because of their marks — which is not the whole purpose of going to school. Very good points!! 
Nice to see you again Monty.