Saat Pheron ki Saaton Vachan…

Current Tune: Jab Tak Poore Na Ho Phere Saat - Nadiya ke Paar

I am not able to find the above song, so please go to this link, and listen to it while you read this post.

We woke Mumma up as she was fast asleep in the room and let her know that “shaadi ka samay ho gaya hai.”

Its now 3.30 am, and we are heading downstairs to where the mandap was decorated outside in the garden area. Most of the relatives had left and only close ones were still sitting, laughing, and enjoying themselves. The majority of my cousins were still awake, kind of surprising :smile:, and the little ones still had full energy.

The first ceremony, prior to the start of the marriage ceremony, is putting on that beautiful chuda given by the dulhan’s mamaji and mamiji. The eldest mama in our family is Lalit Mama, so he and Anita Mami were going to go ahead and do their part. The chuda is of red and silver bangles that are then put on the dulhan. The bangles are bright and this will remain as a symbol of being newly married. In some families, the chuda is worn for the first year of marriage and in other families for six months. It isn’t set in stone in my family, so I have decided that I will wear for atleast six months.

As this completed, it was just about 4 am - the exact time for the marriage ceremony to start. During the time that I was upstairs, Neeraj had gone to his room as well. He found out that the friends that had come to the marriage and taken over the room and were sleeping there. He really didn’t get a chance to relax or anything, and in fact was more upset to see them sleeping and not downstairs with him. Anyway, now we were waiting on Neeraj and just like in the movies, those infamous words from the panditji were spoken:

Aap dulhe ko bulaaye, shaadi ka samay niklaa jaa raha hai… (Please call the groom, the time for the wedding is slowly seeping away…)

I was thinking to myself, “whoa, they actually say those type of things.”

Then came Neeraj as he walked out of the banquet hall and towards the mandap. He sat down next to me, gave me a smile, and the marriage ceremony started.

The ceremony itself lasted two and half hours. The panditji was from Neeraj’s side and was their family panditji who had conducted all of the marriage ceremonies starting with Neeraj’s eldest brother, Satish Bhaiya.

The weather was very pleasant. It was nice and breezy, and there were tons and tons of bugs, insects, and others, which is expected for the summer time, but also due to the spotlight of the photographer/videographers. I would have to keep on telling Neeraj to try to get rid of whatever insect that came near us.

Then all of a sudden in the middle of the ceremony there was this bird of some sort that just landed itself inside the corner of the mandap closest to Neeraj. The panditji stops as he notices the bird, and says that someone needs to get it out of the mandap otherwise he will not continue. No one wanted to touch the bird, of course it makes sense, and it wasn’t moving either. Finally one of the photographers tries to move it with a stick, and the bird quickly tries to fly away but ends up plopping right on my friend Jililan’s foot. She makes this high scream as everyone turns over to see what’s going on. Everyone started laughing, including myself, as the bird finally ran away, and everything was okay.

I forgot to mention about my American friends throughout the whole marriage time. They were all just wonderfully dressed as Mumma, Papa, and I had gotten them traditional clothing to wear. For all of the gals we had gotten the short kurta and bellbottoms and for the guys we had gotten snazzy kurta pajamas and red chunni. Mrs. Katz was in this shiny turquoise blue, Diane was in purple, Beth was in lime green, and Jillian was in magenta & light blue. They all looked beautiful, and the men also looked very handsome. They had given me their measurements, and I will have to say that it was tough trying to find ready made dresses for them because they are a bit taller (wayy taller ) than the average Indian. We were very lucky that all of the dresses fit everyone other than Mrs. Katz had a bit of the issue with the kurta (which Asha Masi ended up fixing ), and Diane’s bellbottoms were a bit tight. For Diane, they had gone to Bapu Bazaar and other places the day before, and she ended up finding white bellbottoms that went very well with the purple kurta.

I was very proud of them as well as they stayed awake till the very last minute when the doli left. They could have fallen asleep or asked to go back to the hotel, but they stayed with me, and I really appreciated that. Thank you so much for being with us on our special day.

Right before the saat phere (7 rounds around the fire) were going to start, the panditji asked my brother Suraj to step forward. He then said that he will need to get 7 single 10 rupee bills and 7 rasgoolas. So Suraj was off trying to find all that he needed to be ready for the pheres.

He returned, and we were now ready to start the pheres. I don’t know how its decided, but I was in front of Neeraj for six of the seven rounds made around the fire. I usually thought that the dulhan is ahead 4 times and the dulha 3 times, but that was not the case in our marriage. Before the rounds were started, Neeraj’s chunni was tied with mine by Neeraj’s youngest sister, Lakshmi. Neeraj and my hands were brought together and a white handkerchief was tied on it so that it was not seen.

Then the rounds began as my cousin-brothers, Chand and Chirag, both took one each side of the mandap to make sure that my very long dress did not end up in the fire. Mitu Didi, Pooja Didi, and Rishabh were also a big help in this matter.

Each time a round was complete, Neeraj and I stood as the panditji continued with the mantras and retrieved one 10 rupee note and one rasgoola below our unseen hands from Suraj. It was kind of interesting that the panditji would always take the 10 rupee note and 1 rasgoola just below our hands (it must have a symbolism that I don’t know about, but anyone else knows please shed the light ).

The pheres continue until all 7 rounds are over, then what? Is it over or is there more? You can guess that it won’t end so easily.

Wait till next time as the next post has the see off of the doli.

Alvida. Jai Mata Di.