Sometimes when you are in love you think that waiting months or a year so that you can be together with that special person seems like an eternity.

Last night as I was going to sleep, I was trying to think where Neeraj and I were at last year during this time. Its amazing to think that our parents hadn’t met yet, and there were so many incertainities to what would happen next. I remember my mother telling me that shaadi toh do saal baad hogi (your marriage will be in two years only), and I replying back saying ke do saal main nahi rukne wali (I won’t wait two years).

But now look at us. That one year has passed — but one thing is for sure, if you want something to happen, you have to do it yourself.

Neeraj and I took the intiative of having our parents meet while they were in India (they wouldn’t have met if we would have not said anything). We made the decision in India that we were going to apply for K-1 visa (our parents wouldn’t have given us this advice to do it), and it was us that went through the toils and turmoils to ensure that we are together (otherwise today we would be saat samundar paar — living that life that we have felt was a burden on our relationship).

I am not saying that our parents aren’t happy with our relationship. They are very happy but because it was Neeraj and I have chosen each other, they feel that its up to us to take the first step on everything. We kept them informed throughout the steps we took, but it was us that came up the ideas.

I don’t say that I agree with our parents thinking. As Neeraj and I discuss about how we would have handled the situation differently if our daughter/son was in our situation; we both agreed that we would have supported them wholeheartedly. If they choose their partner then we will do everything is needed to be done if it would have been an arranged marriage.

Both set of parents wanted us to have an arranged marriage in our own respective communities, but 20 years from now we don’t know how life is going to be, but we know that we shall support our children in a way where they will never feel that they have to do everything on their own.

Live and learn — I guess that’s the only way to live.

Alvida. Jai Mata Di.

We have come back with some good news to share. Neeraj and my engagement date has been set. We will be celebrating our engagement with our friends and family on November 26, 2005.

We will be finalizing the venue and the dinner menu in the next few days and then will begin to send out the invitations.

Its an exciting time for us as we slowly begin our journey towards wedded bliss. US Bloggers begin looking for an e-invite coming to an inbox near you (which would be your email address ). We would love to have all of you celebrate this wonderful day with us.

India Bloggers don’t be discouraged as you will get your chance too. Our wedding will definitely be in Jaipur, India so we are getting the best of both worlds.

Planning for the party has begun and there is much much to do.

Other Side Thoughts:

Finally got my laptop back last night (my hard drive was completely dead and didn’t have it for the past four-five days). So now we will be back online more often than ever.

A HEARTY CONGRATULATIONS goes to our very own Kunal saab!! He is officially engaged to a Verma!!! As of yet there is no relation to Neeraj, but who knows! Our bhabhi-to-be is Bharti Verma from Delhi. Manpreete and Ankur thodi chaan-bheen karo ke hamari hone wali bhabhi kaisi hai — tumhari galee se aayi hai. We got the news yesterday when Kunal asked us to give him a call. At that moment I told Neeraj that “lagta hai baat pakki ho gayi hai.”

Neeraj and I are very very very happy for you both and may God keep you happy always.

Mata Rani ki duayein hum sab par hai.

Alvida. Jai Mata Di.

Had a very long phone conversation with Neeraj that ended a few minutes ago and made him late to the passport office. But the discussion was so interesting that neither of us wanted to leave the conversation in the middle.

Temptations in love, can you control them? Should you control them? How to control them?

Intimate/sexual temptations.

You and your bf/gf have been dating for 4 years and know each other inside and out. You are now in a situation where you are in one’s room and are able to do whatever you please to be intimate, do you go ahead and do it? Don’t think about this diplomatically or give the answer that you think everyone would say, but think from your heart. Now you feel that you love your partner to the extent that you will marry this person some day, but do you take in the temptation or should you control it? If you should control, how do you do that?

Living temptations

You and your bf/gf are now going to be living in the same city. You are thinking of whether you should get a home on your own, or move in with your partner, what do you do? You love your partner to the extent that you will marry him/her someday, but at this time, due to whatever circumstance you are not able to marry, do you still decide to live together? Should this temptation be controlled? If yes, then how?

Pyar humein kis mod pe leh aayaaaaaaaaaaa, ke dil kare aaye, koi yeh bataye kya hoga

Wakai main pyar ek aaisa ehsaas hai jisse tum sab kuch bhul sakte ho. Today as I was talking to a dear friend who is going through a similar issue with her parents as I did, I was reminiscing what Neeraj and I have gone through in the past five years so that we are able to see this day together. Pyar karne se baat khatam nahi hoti, usse nibhaana bhi padta hai. Just being love doesn’t end it, you have to fulfill all of the trials and tribulations that go along with it.

If you give up on your relationship at any point prior to meeting your goal or manzil, then is that really true love? Would you give up on true love? I knew that I was going to face many problems prior to getting into a relationship with Neeraj. How did I know so? Here are a few things that gave me the hint:

1. Our relationship was formed through the Internet
2. We had never met before in person
3. My parents never met him in person
4. Different castes
5. Long distance

I never let just my heart do the talking in the relationship, I used my mind as well. I had to think about the obstacles that we were going to face prior to them happening, otherwise we would never be prepared. I knew that there would be many things that both of us would have to explain to our family, and many that they wouldn’t even understand. But it was true love for us, we were ready to do anything to be together. Today, we are good as engaged with parents consent and ready to get married. Fairy tale story? I think not.

Relationships require hardwork — its not something that comes easy for anyone. Everybody faces problems, some give up half way, some take it through the end. True love is at the end of the manzil. Neeraj and I could have given up loooong time back, but we never did. We knew that we wanted to be together from day one, and today our love is higher than anything else in the world.

Aaj ek baat sirf unke liye jo ek jeevan saathi dhoondh raha hai, dhoondh liya hai aur ghar walon se baatein karne wale hain, yaa phir jo confused hai ke woh kya kare, dil aur dimaag dono ko isthmaal karo — jeet tumhari hogi. For those who are looking for a life partner, have found one and are going to talk to your parents about him/her, or for those who are just plain confused about their relationship, remember one thing that you should always use your brain along with your heart — the win will definitely be yours. Nothing stops true love, not even your parents as they also want what is the best for you.

Pyaar karo, aish karo, par soch samaj ke karo.

Alvida. Jai Mata Di.

This was a question that was posed in a section of the Sunday newspaper called the Parade, People write questions to Marilyn vos Savant, who is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records Hall of Fame for the “Highest IQ”.

Few people would buy a car without a test drive. Many feel the same way about marriage: They wouldn’t get married until having sex with the intended person first, to determine if they are sexually compatible and if they enjoy each other when making love. Do you think people should each out in tihs way before marriage?

I have had this discussion with a bunch of friends before too in which many, even my desi friends, believe that one should “test drive” to ensure that they are compatible. I totally disagree where I believe that if you love a person then that sexual compatibility will also exist.

Here is what Marilyn has to say:

Moral issues aside, if you want to test drive your intended spouse, you’re not in love with him or her. If you were, you would have only desire, not doubt. As anyone who has been in love knows, having sex isn’t comparable to making love. And if you’re not in love, you shouldn’t get married:!:

Great answer! Bravo! I couldn’t have said it better myself. So many people are caught up on having sex that they really forget about the emotions behind it. Its a great eye opener to many…after all how many times will you test drive??? After a while, you won’t even remember what you were testing.

Chalo bahut ho gaya for today.

Alvida. Jai Mata Di.

I’m a dreamer…….

When I was in grade school, I would dream about learning new things, playing sports, getting good grades, having fun with my family……

When I was in junior high school, I would dream about getting into high school, making new friends, getting the best grades, getting involved…..

When I was in high school, I would dream about getting into college, growing up, moving to India, being Indian, overachieving, becoming the best in everything I do, finding someone as perfect as Mohnish Behl, as he was in Hum Aapke Hain Koun, as my life partner…..

When I entered college, I would dream about finding that love, the corporate world, traveling with my family, going out with friends…..

After meeting Neeraj (who is better than Mohnish Behl ), I would dream about being together, engagement, marriage, dancing, kids, having our own company, making unforgettable memories….

Can you dream about your dreams coming true?

Engagement, marriage, life as one — waiting for our dreams to come true…..

Alvida. Jai Mata Di.

Writing from a Satyam I Way Cyber Cafe in Mumbai today. My cousin Chandni was coming to the cafe so I decided to tag along. Stupid cafe has IE 5.5, and our site shows up like crap. Hadd hai yaar.

Met up with Neeraj last night, and he has too much work to do today so doesn’t look like we will meet up today. Kya kare? That’s life I guess.

New Year celebrations were not too extravagant. We had planned to go to The Lawns in Juhu as it was cheap (Rs. 1500 per person), but then plan was scratched, Neeraj ended up coming to my home, and then later we left to go to Nariam Point only. Why? That will be explained in another post at another time.

Yesterday Neeraj and I went to Andheri for some shopping. I had to be home by 8 pm but we had gotten late. We changed auto rickshaws two times in hopes to get to Andheri station faster. As we are slowly moving thru traffic in the second auto rickshaw, all of a sudden his brakes fail! OH MY GOD! He swerved between two different auto rickshaws later colliding with a taxi. Its a good thing that traffic was moving slowly otherwise we would have been seriously injured. After colliding, Neeraj and I got out of the rickshaw without a scratch but were quite shaken by the incident.

Didn’t get a chance to meet up with Mona in Jaipur but did get her SMS. She will no longer be able to contact me as Neeraj made a fatal mistake in Jaipur. While trying to see if his Jaipur SIM card would work, he left his Mumbai SIM at his sister’s home. So now none of my Mumbai friends or Mona are able to contact me. Anyway, I do have a new number and if you want to chat with me and Neeraj send us an email @ np [at] neerajpoonam [dot] com.

Aur sab toh theek hi hai. Hope all is good with you.

Alvida. Jai Mata Di.

Since starting this website, Neeraj and I have both learned a lot from others’ experiences. We hope that many have learned from reading our experiences as well. Whenever I receive a Yahoo message from someone who has seen our website, many will tell their love story or how their story matches with ours. Many stories that I have heard have not had the perfect ending as that person might have wanted, while others have succeeded beyond belief. Many wish us luck that we will fulfill what they might have not gotten the chance to do in their own life.

What I might have not told many that sometimes I wish I would have is that being in love is not easy, and it certainly hasn’t been easy for Neeraj or me. We have faced those obstacles where many others (or even the average) might have given up their relationship on (many have told me that they have given up as well). Everything hasn’t been simple and smooth as even the both of us would have liked it to be. This is an important realization because its you, as a couple, that holds your relationship’s fate. If at any time either one of us would have felt weak and given up, then today we would not be where we are (on the verge of engagement/wedding). Until that sacred day comes, we know that we will stay face problems because the route we have taken to build our relationship (i.e. Internet) was not the route that our family might have thought for us.

Internet love, as weird as it sounds, is the hardest type of love to be in because your interaction has only been virtual. Meeting that other person face-to-face is essential (our belief) for any relationship to grow because that’s when you learn if that person is what you have dreamt or have pictured in your mind. Even the impossible (i.e. Hindu/Muslim, people in two different countries, married/unmarried) is possible but until you see the facial reactions and the body language of that person, its hard to decipher what message your love is trying to convey.

This post is written for those that read our story and think that these two had everything made for them. It was not that at all as Neeraj and I worked hard to build our relationship and our future. What we have done, you and your partner can do too, but its a joint effort. Nothing comes easy in life (it hasn’t for us), its best to know that and move forward.

If you trust and believe in your relationship — then no one can stop you. On the first day of the new year, wishing all those couples a beginning of a wonderful feeling that we call love.